After seeing last night’s New Girl, we can all agree on one thing: Zooey Deschanel dressed as a zombie is probably the cutest thing of all time. (Other than Schmidt dressed as Matthew McConaughey in Magic Mike, of course.) Jess should have just eaten Sam’s brain after *spoiler alert* he turns her down for an actual date (we were genuinely bummed out!), but at least we got an awesome episode filled with amazing costumes first. Not that any could hold a blood-covered candle to Jess’s, of course…
Nick: “You look like a zombie Woody Allen. ‘These brains are terrible, and in such small portions.'”
Schmidt: “At Christmas I like to eat Chinese people’s brains. They’re the only ones that are open.”
Nick: “The costume kind of works for me. Kind of a sexy undead Driver’s Ed teacher.”
Winston: “I couldn’t afford my therapist so I ate his brains. Marx Brothers!”
We thought Jess looked more like a Zombie Raggedy Anne or a Zombie Newsie, but either way those eyebrows were perfection.
Schmidt: “You didn’t want to wear something a little more form flattering? Like a pile of towels? Or a figure 8?”
Schmidt: “I get it! The guy who shot John Lennon dressed as a Ninja Turtle.”
We like the confident direction they’re taking CeCe’s boyfriend Robby, but you’d have to be a fool not to recognize Schmidt’s two costumes were superior: young Abraham Lincoln into Dallas gets ‘em every time.
Jess: “This makes me feel nothing. I feel nothing.”
The scene in which Jess discovers Sam is an adorable pediatrician kiiiiilled us. Why, Sam? Why? Why can’t you save your fishtails for one woman?
Winston: “Those stuffed animals are going to look good on the floor of my bedroom.”
Winston: “I thought you were going to dress sexy.”
Shelby: “A sense of humor is sexy!”
Get it? “Reigning Cats and Dogs”? Too bad an excellent pun costume had to be sullied by Winston and Shelby’s breakup. You’ll find someone who will appreciate it, girl. Winston…you’ll find the woman who likes that you have a mustache glued on top of your mustache. Happy Halloween, you beautiful weirdos!