Well, this is awkward. Here we were, ready to heap derision and eye rolls on the new Jack The Giant Slayer movie for being the outrageously cheesy and unappealing CGI disaster it must surely be. Then we, um, watched the trailer. It’s…we found…on this, the day before Thanksgiving…okay, we are sincerely embarrassed by how tickled we are after watching it. Jack The Giant Slayer, we’re sorry and red-faced that we underestimated you. We didn’t realize you had:
- A satisfyingly goth art design. We loooove the human skull wall.
- Stanley Tucci being catty in princely 1600s Euro garb.
- Decent-looking beanstalk graphics
- Nicholas Hoult‘s English accent. Humina.
- Ewan McGregor wrapped in raw dough and cooked next to two adorable pigs.
- Ewan McGregor’s beard while being wrapped in raw dough.
- A little baby sheep
- Did we mention the Stanley Tucci part? We did? Great! Great.
- That last second quip. We have no defenses against quips.
Seriously, this movie should look so much lamer than it does! Perhaps we have to confront the fact that sometimes it is we who are lame. Or our assumptions are, at least As for the giants’ faces…well, nothing is ever a total home run, is it?