How did no one mention Winston’s pink and purple combo on last night’s New Girl? The man was wearing a lavender sweater over a pink Oxford and Nick didn’t zing him? There must be a zinger on the cutting room floor somewhere, because we were waiting for it the entire time. Luckily Jamie Lee Curtis and Rob Reiner stopped by as Jess’s adorable divorced parents so we were able to distract ourselves, but still. This is not Easter! Earth tones, people. Everything else in this holiday episode was adorable but where was Schmidt on that one?
Jess: “Oh, I thought everyone knew. You grieve so publicly on Instagram. All those pictures of sad trees and your lunches.”
Okay, so maybe Zooey Deschanel has worn approximately 10,000 variations on this same ensemble. That’s because she looks amazing in all of them. Plus it’s the perfect outfit to wear while tricking your parents into getting back together. Classic Jess!
Joanie: “You’re not going to be alone. And even if you were, you can move in with me…get a condo in Miami…start solving crimes…”
Jess: “Yeah, we could definitely Grey Gardens the crap out of a condo in Miami. I can’t wait to eat cat food with you.”
First of all, Jamie Lee Curtis was a perfect casting decision to play Zooey’s mom. Second of all, there is no outfit that screams “Jess’s Perky Mother” more than billowing bright orange and a pilgrim hat. Pilgrim hats off to the wardrobe department!
Joanie: “The only reason I wear makeup in Portland is to keep the rain off my face.”
Joanie: “Wow…I look like a slutty Katie Couric.”
Hot Mom Makeover! Dang, Jamie Lee has still got it, right? Rob Reiner…yeah, who are we kidding? We’d watch these two makeout in a bathroom any day.
Schmidt: “Know this: your cave man ideas about manhood are so over. Manhood today is about exfoliating and cheese courses and emotional honesty and Paxil. And yes, cutting peppers in a classic julienne. You might have bested me in a competition of pre-Clinton masculinity, but I am Schmidt, a refined and enlightened pescatarian about 90% of the time.”
Rob Riggle was the perfect casting choice to play Big Schmidt, seeing as how he’s essentially a meat tank version of Max Greenfield. Our only question is, why is the Schmidt from the Midwest so much tanner than Original Flavor Schmidt? Only the Thanksgiving gods know!