American Psycho author/ amateur d-bag Bret Easton Ellis cranked his douche ray up to 11 last night, putting Zero Dark Thirty director Kathryn Bigelow on blast for being a hot lady. Lord, why did you let us invent Twitter? “Kathryn Bigelow would be considered a mildly interesting filmmaker if she was a man but since she’s a very hot woman she’s really overrated,” Ellis tweeted. From there it was a breeze collecting the author’s douchiest tweets. (Well, douchiest in the past few months. There are too many to count!) Can we be honest though? As douchetacular as Bret Easton Ellis clearly, clearly is…a lot of his tweets are pretty funny. We know! We’re so weak! However, at the end of the day, isn’t it possible to think someone or something is a total douche but still enjoy them? We hope so! That’s the basis of our enjoying anything!
- “The world needs more gays who don’t subscribe to The Gay Middlebrow and awarding KA-WEENS GLAAD awards and letting stereotypes win Emmys…”
- “I like the idea of Glee but why is it that every time I watch an episode I feel like I’ve stepped into a puddle of HIV?”
- “Okay I’ll say it. Matt Bomer isn’t right for Christian Grey because he is openly gay. He’s great for other roles but this is too big a game.”
- “As someone who has used Grindr? Paris Hilton isn’t that far off.”
- “There’s no such thing as “inappropriate” AIDS comments, rape comments, pedophile comments. That world is over now. It doesn’t exist anymore.”
- “It took me 48 years to finally understand women. I do now. It’s horrifying.”
- “Patrick Bateman has just headed over to Lindsay Lohan’s hotel to confront her as to why she missed her f—ing ADR on “The Canyons” today…” Not so much douche-y for putting his leading lady on blast; douche-y because he constantly references Patrick Bateman like he’s a living, breathing human being, rather than the protagonist of his novel American Psycho.
- “Kelly Marcel?!? KELLY MARCEL?!? Kelly Marcel is WRITING the script for “Fifty Shades of Grey”?!? THIS is the movie they want to make? ARGH.
- “Kathryn Bigelow: Strange Days, K-19 The Widowmaker, Blue Steel, The Hurt Locker. Are we talking about visionary filmmaking or just OK junk?”
- “Anyone Unfollowing me should have known better and never Followed me in the first place. Wise up: p—ies and snowflakes. Get the F over it.”
Okay, and one hilarious one:
“”OH STOP IT! You made money off your break-ups,” the 26 year-old scolded me. “But I didn’t make ADELE-money!” I shouted back, then sobbed…” That’s pretty funny, right? Yeah…we’re sorry. We are the worst.