So Help Us, Michael Bay, If The Pain And Gain Trailer Has Mislead Us About The Amount Of Rebel Wilson In The Movie…

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Michael Bay, you had better not be jerking us around. You do not put Rebel Wilson uttering the phrase “penis magic” in a doctor’s office in the new Pain and Gain trailer unless the film gives Rebel the attention she deserves. There is nothing we hate worse than a trailer that shows all the good parts of a film. If those “good parts” is one measly scene featuring Rebel Wilson, we don’t know what we’ll do. Okay, we’ll probably rage impotently in a blog post. But still! If you have a Google alert for your name, Michael Bay (and we know you do), you are going to get a pretty unpleasant email relatively soon if you let us down!

Other than Rebel, the rest of the trailer looks…somehow amazing? John Turturro and Rob Corddry are in the movie, for pete’s sake! We love all the sweat-drenched tank tops, we adore the weird skinny dog and the pairing of Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson‘s quips with such serious music is downright hilarious. Never go back to the Transformers franchise again, Michael Bay. Unless Pain and Gain somehow ends up being terrible other than these few scenes. In which case, go crazy!