On January 1st we can start a clean slate and draft our ever crucial new year’s resolutions. Whether or not we actually achieve those goals is another matter (we’ve yet to do 2012’s spring cleaning). Nevertheless, it’s always a fun challenge to set them for ourselves…and also for our friends in Hollywood. Just like us, our celebs could use a little goal setting for 2013. Just like your mother says, we do it because we love you. Here’s our resolutions to the stars, and -most importantly- Happy New Year!
Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling – We know one of Hollywood’s hottest couples is costarring in The Place Beyond the Pines in 2013 together. However, after watching the two show their comedy chops in the latest Drunk History clips, we cannot wait to see more of these two collaborate. We know the duo has some off screen chemistry, and the silver screen may not even be able to handle the hotness between them. We have a proposition for these two for 2013: more projects together, please!
Charlie Sheen – Well we thought this guy was gone forever, but Charlie Sheen keeps finding a way to slither his way back into the spotlight. Last Friday night, at the opening of his restaurant in Cabo San Lucas, he apparently greeted his guests with homophobic slurs. What a welcoming gesture! Charlie’s resolution for 2013? Stay out of the spotlight. We’ve all had enough.
Ryan Lochte – As you know, we love Ryan Lochte. He had us at his good looks, charm, and his strong showing at this year’s London Olympics. With eleven medals around his neck and Miss Universe on his arm, It’s safe to say Lochte had a good year in 2012. Hey, he even started a new catchphrase in America: Jeah! Since Lochte is clearly such a wordsmith, we challenge him to find an equally as enduring phrase for 2013.
Taylor Swift – America’s sweetheart is famous for using her relationships as material for her lovelorn lyrics and catchy songs. This year she’s been seen with younger men Conor Kennedy and now One Direction frontman Harry Styles. Before she gets super cozy with her British lad, we have one resolution for Taylor in 2013: hold off on the real estate. You may have coincidentally wanted to buy property near the Kennedy compound (“Omg, Conor! You live here too?”), you may just have so much extra cash lying that you decided you wanted to buy a house on a whim because you could…but if, for some wild reason, you bought the house to be closer to your 18 year old boyfriend of a couple of months, we have some advice going into this new relationship with Harry: take it easy! Harry Styles still has acne on his forehead – the last thing he is thinking about is settling down. We know you can buy property whenever you want, but save the house hunting for your 2020 resolution.
Beyonce – We cannot get enough of Bey, her overall amazing talent, fierce style, and, of course, her daughter, Blue Ivy. We just want to see more of the little Carter! Blue turns 1 in January, and we are already putting the candle in the cake for this celebration. We know she is going to have the coolest birthday ever…at least Jay-Z and Beyonce will be making appearances! So we ask simply of Bey to post more Instagram photos of her daughter. We’re already obsessed with the beautiful portraits we’ve seen so far displaying Bey’s maternal side, and we simply want more!
Prince Harry – The royal party boy suffered some royal embarrassment after naked photos leaked of him during his stay in Las Vegas over the summer. Clearly what happened in Vegas didn’t stay there. We understand, it’s difficult to let loose when the camera is on you twenty-four-seven, but try to bring some extra boxers when you’re out and about. I’m sure you have some butler who could hold it for you. That way, the next time you are getting plastered and walking nude at the Encore Wynn, you can quickly slip into your princely Hanes.
Jessica Chastain – She may be the hardest working actress in Hollywood today, acting in at least ten movies between 2011 and 2012. While she’s been promoting her latest film, Zero Dark Thirty, she has also been headlining Broadway in The Heiress. Our New Year’s resolution for Jessica? Take some vacation time! You’ve clocked in so many hours these past two years, you could make any workaholic look like a 20-something slacker. Relax, unwind, and revel in all of your accomplishments this past year. We know you’ll be in back front of the camera in no time.
Clint Eastwood – Clint got everyone talking after his bizarre appearance at the Republican National Convention when he brought a chair on stage and pretended he was speaking to an invisible President Obama. Our thoughts on the matter? Clint just had an extra chair lying around his house and decided to utilize it for his Mitt Romney endorsement. Resolution for Clint: Hire an interior decorator for your house! Since you have so much extraneous furniture, I’m sure your new designer could help you put it to good use. Not only will your feng shui improve, but maybe you’ll even feel happier about the state of the union.
[Photo: Getty Images]