One year ago today, Beyonce’s baby bubble burst, bestowing the beautiful Blue Ivy Carter onto a breathless world (sorry we ran out of B’s at the end)! Jay-Z and Queen Bey’s little girl went on to dominate 2012, despite the fact that she wasn’t doing much more than eating mashed carrots and figuring out how to lift her head.
Clearly she got her dominating skills from her parents, and probably her Godmother Oprah Winfrey. Not that we’re judging, but we’ve been wondering what kind if path this mega-star offspring will take when she grows up and can actually…you know, do stuff. We’ve done our homework, and we’ve broken it down into the 5 basic Super-Couple Spawn varieties. Let us explain.
Super-Couple Spawn Variety 1: Parent Version 2.0
Like mother like daughter/like father like son, these famous folks get a leg-up with their name and try to stage a repeat performance of their parents’ success. Fame is a family business after all, but sometimes lightening doesn’t strike twice and the results are pretty mediocre. Examples of that include: Nancy Sinatra, Colin Hanks, Lisa Marie Presley, and Julian Lennon. But sometimes they do a pretty awesome job. Just like Goldie Hawn’s daughter Kate Hudson, the multi-talented Smith kids Jayden and Willow, Donald Sutherland’s badass boy Kiefer, Kirk Douglas‘ slightly less bad-ass boy Michael, and Judy Garland’s triple-threat daughter Liza Minelli.
Super-Couple Spawn Variety 2: The Over-Achiever
This group took what they were born with and ran with it, eclipsing their parent’s name almost completely! These super talented and resourceful kids snatched the crown from their ‘rents and took over the world. To be honest, we’re kind of predicting this path for Blue Ivy. Jay and Bey better watch that throne! Think along the lines of media dominator and former Disney-Gal Miley Cyrus, Blythe Danner’s Oscar winning daughter Gwyneth Paltrow, Catskills comedian Jerry Stiller‘s A-lister boy Ben, and Barrymore babe Drew. And even though Jon Voight may have won an Academy Award way back when, we somehow doubt that he was ever as big as Hollywood Empress Angelina Jolie.
Super-Couple Spawn Variety 3: The Train-Wreck
Can we get a sad trombone up in here? Sometimes the celebrity lifestyle is too much too soon, and famous kids become a living breathing, walking, talking E! True Hollywood Story or (dare we say it?) a VH1 Behind The Music. Don’t do it Blue Ivy! Some former spin-outs like Charlie Sheen, Nicole Richie, Jack Osbourne and John Phillips’ daughter MacKenzie have gotten it together. But some current cautionary tales include Michael Douglas’ son Cameron who was arrested for crystal meth, Ryan O’Neal‘s lawsuit prone Tatum and Redmond, and DUI magnet Nick Hogan.
Super-Couple Spawn Variety 4: The Break Out Success
This crew did it the hard way, making their own name at a totally different skill than their famous parents. Some like David Bowie’s son, indie film director Duncan Jones, late soul-stress Minnie Ripperton’s little girl Maya Rudolph, and sitar virtuoso Ravi Shankar’s daughter Norah Jones have different surnames that conceal their famous lineage. Others like music producing legend Quincy Jones‘ daughter Rashida, Beatle-baby Stella McCartney, Aerosmith rocker Steven Tyler’s daughter Liv, Zoe Kravitz, and sitcom actor Alan Thicke’s R&B crooner son Robin carry on the family name in a new and unique way.
Super-Couple Spawn Variety 5: The Ghost
These are the famous kids that drop off the map and vanish in among their piles of cash (we imagine). Where have you been Francis Bean Cobain, Desi Arnaz Jr. !? It seems like we get a Bigfoot sighting more often than we see a photo of these legacies. Don’t that happen to you, Baby Blue! Beyonce and Jay-Z have been pretty sparse with the baby photos, but we guess they’re just being good parents by keeping her out of the spotlight as much as possible.
But because today’s all about Blue, we’ve assembled some of her most adorable pics…so far. Let there be many many more! It’s all you, birthday girl. Happy birthday, Blue Ivy!
[Photo: Getty Images/FOX]