The dreaded Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag have been back in the spot light for about six seconds, and they’re already up to their pathetic attention-getting attempts that are about to make us burst a blood-vessel with rage. Trust us, we’d rather not be writing about them, but it’s a slow news day and we have a quota to fill. Their return to reality TV with Britain’s Celebrity Big Brother prompted us to do a retrospective of the pair’s low-lights last week, and now Spencer is clearly pretending that someone “stole” his phone is threatening to leak “intimate” photos of Heidi. But from what we’ve seen, it’s stuff like her doing laundry and drying her nails. Not really the kind of intimate that most people have in mind.
Spencer was supposed to have his phone taken away as he entered the BB compound, but he was seen on live feeds of the show using the device. “Listen, tweeps, keep calm and carry on. This is perfectly explainable. I have been allowed to tweet as a plot device in the season,” he (or somebody…) posted to his feed soon after. And that’s when all of the mysterious “thievery” and “leaks” and other things in quotations started to occur. “Just a taste of what’s on my phone,” reads the caption on a photo of a perfectly safe-for-work shot of Heidi wish a fresh manicure. “Surely, the tabloids would have a field day with the contents of my phone, their cup o’ tea…. Thanks for the concern. No hacking here. Actually it’s good I found my phone. Contacts, pictures, all sorts of things some1 might want.”
We’re kind of thinking that no one would want photos of Heidi doing random household chores, but he’s really taking this comic book villain thing pretty far. The texts are full of bad British stereotype slang (“I’m just a bloke with a phone. Sod off, the lot of you!”) and the photos continue to be boring despite the vague threats. Who knows, we could be totally wrong and the dude’s phone could have actually gotten jacked. But obviously neither member of Speidi seems all that familiar with “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.”