So Jess and Sam invited Nick and Angie to a cabin for a couples’ weekend on New Girl tonight, even though no one in their right mind would ever do such a thing, especially without Winston and Schmidt. For shame. While we were obsessed with Jess’s woodland beauty, we have to pay homage to Winston’s faux crack memory before we get into the fashionings:
“Winston: I remember when I was a kid, me, my mom, and her mom, and, well, her mom and then her mom and of course her mom and then my little cousin Peanut. It all went back to that flaming trash can where we would sit around and harmonize, just “Shoo-oop!” One of those nights I remember, we ran out of crack. I would grab my scarf and run down the the liquor store where thugs hung out and try to get a good deal on some crack. They would give me a good price, but I’ll tell you what. There’s not thing like the feel of a fire, a fresh-baked cookie and the sweet, sweet taste of crack in your lungs.”
Jess: “You’re dating a stripper. I’m dating a tall, handsome doctor. We’re both kind of living the dream.”
Meanwhile, our dream involves getting our sweaty paws on Jess’s awesome, pocket-y coat. Of course, it’s only the beginning of a parade of woodsy plaids…
Angie: “By the way, you’ve been really cool about the Jamiroqaui tattoo on my butt.”
You know what goes well with woodsy plaids? Permanent marker pubes your stripper girlfriend draws on your armpit when you’re asleep. Oh, they don’t? Yeah, maybe Nick and Angie didn’t work out for a reason…
Absinthe Nick: “Doctor Sam, if you were a hat, you would be a top hat. But like a really big Monopoly one. I say that as the deepest compliment.”
Between that chambray shirt, that scruff and his sexual restraint, the good doctor has never looked better than he did during tonight’s episode. A real top hat of a gent.
Angie (playing with Jess’s hair): “I love your hair. So pretty and curly.”
Nick: “Fantasy and nightmare colliding.”
Of course Jess would have flawless curly hair while staying at a cabin, even after they lose power. And of course she would have knocked out said power with a stray rifle shot. It all adds up.
Jess: “Word games. Word games. Word games. Word games. Word games. Who wants to play Charades? Movie. One word. Gattaca.”
Sam: “I feel so much better after throwing up in the fire.”
The only thing sicker than everyone who drank the absinthe was Angie’s geometric sweater. Oh, and that Pendleton blanket. Man, we are really into the Zooey Deschanel-meets-drunk-Paul-Bunyon.