We’re So Sorry About Your Alleged Break-Up, Taylor Swift, But Excited For Your New Boyfriends!


Okay, so we don’t actually know if Taylor Swift and Harry Styles have actually broken up or not. Maybe Richard Branson‘s island exerts mysterious influences on people, Lost-style. While we hope Haylor lasts unto eternity, forever and ever amen, we would be remiss if we didn’t point out that there are plenty of other fish in the sea for TSwift. Fish with boyish laughs and beautiful hair and emotional issues just begging to be memorialized in song. Fish likeā€¦

1) Everyone else in One Direction

Too soon? But there are so many other eligible bachelors in One Direction! Sure, it might be a little gauche to be making out with your exes’ bandmate while he asleep three feet away in a bunk…okay, okay. You’re right. Jeez.

2) Everyone in The Wanted

Good-looking musicians seem to be Taylor’s Kryptonite, and we’re guessing The Wanted‘s Max George will be her…Lex Luther? Man, we need that new Superman movie to come out like today. Plus this might put Taylor in a position to party with Lindsay Lohan. Or get into a knife fight with Lindsay Lohan. Either way, you know we’re watching!

3) Ed Sheeran

Isn’t this probably happening as we speak? Ed Sheeran and Taylor Swift are touring together, plus he already has his mandatory Taylor-related tattoo. Also, how cute would that be?

4) Patrick Schwarzenegger

Ain’t nothing wrong with a repeat. Excuse us, alleged repeat.

5) Ryan Lochte

First of all, he’s ripped. Second of all, we would get to see them dating on Ryan’s upcoming reality show. Third of all…..he’s ripped?

6) Josh Hutcherson

This would actually be cute and sweet and Taylor could talk to Josh about whatever is going on with his hair. He looks like one of those nightmare-inducing Duracell people.

7) The Biebs

MWAHAHAHAHAHA! You doubt it could ever happen, but we know it’s only a matter of time. Excellent hair, great voice, questionable tatts: yes, yes, Justin Bieber could work nicely. MWAHWHAHAHA.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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