The Golden Globes is a time for Hollywood’s elite to receive accolades for their much lauded work, socialize with their beautiful kin, and get sloppy drunk. This year is sure to continue the Globes’ reputation as the party of the year as today’s best comedic duo, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, are hosting the event. NBC is broadcasting the show, which is also home to Fey’s hilarious 30 Rock and Poehler’s lovable Parks and Recreation. So that got us thinking…what if Amy’s character, newly elected City Council Woman Leslie Knope, were the awards show’s host instead? We all know Leslie is a planner, so we think she’d have a few key suggestions for Ms. Poehler. Here are our favorite ways Knope could add some Pawnee flavor to Hollywood’s biggest ripper.
Catering: Unlike the theatrical spectacle of the Oscars, the Golden Globes is a sit down dinner with lots of booze. But Leslie won’t have our favorite celebs picking at their iceberg lettuce as they try to maintain their figures. To hell with that skinny-tude. Catering at Leslie’s party would include waffles drenched in syrup with whipped cream coiled on top and giant turkey legs. And instead of your vintage Napa Valley Pinot Grigio, it’s beer for everyone!
Mr. Golden Globe: As tradition goes, Miss Golden Globe is typically the daughter of some famous folks. She is the awards-show equivalent of Vanna White who distributes the statutes with her frosted smile and guides the winners off stage when the wrap-it-up music starts to play. Women who have been honored with such a title include Bruce and Demi‘s daughter Rumer Willis, and Lorraine Nicholson, daughter of none other than ole Jack. It’s nepotism at its finest. If Leslie Knope were at the helm, she’d have a different kind of show horse distributing awards. That’s right, Lil’ Sebastian! The most revered miniature pony of all of Pawnee could give Marion Cotillard an award from her oat bag. Now is that a photo op or what!
Conversing with the Actors: Leslie Knope once said, “My ideal man needs to have the brains of George Clooney, with the body of Joe Biden.” So what would happen if she met the supposed brains behind it all at the Golden Globes, Mr. Clooney himself? Would she discuss political issues near and dear to him like Darfur? Or would she break out the Hollywood lingo and ask him about his next directorial debut? We all saw how Knope reacted this season after meeting the VP. If it’s anything like that, Clooney better get security up in here.
Invite Only: We love Leslie and Ron Swanson’s odd couple friendship. It was more apparent as when Swanson beat her out for the Indiana Organization of Women’s Dorthy Everton Smythe Woman of the Year award. Leslie was angry for several reasons: First and foremost, Swanson is a man. Plus she deserved the award, and he didn’t even care about it. Well the Hollywood Foreign Press and Knope will not accept that kind of attitude in the land that awards anything to anyone! Sorry, Swanson, but you may exit the premises of the building.