“Stay Away From Michael J. Fox’s Son”: The 17 Best Quotes From Tonight’s Golden Globes

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Best Quotes From the 2013 Golden Globes

We feel like we just ate a hearty meal…of celebrity zingers! Much like the food that bares their name, sometimes zingers are all you need to feel satisfied. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler certainly know what we’re talking about, what with all the A-list riffing they served up at tonight’s Golden Globes. Of course, plenty of other celebs got in on the action, too: Sacha Baron Cohen ripped on Russell Crowe, Aziz Ansari cracked wise about Downton Abbey, Jodie Foster, um, went after Honey Boo Boo. Really. Seriously. If you like the sound of that,  you’re going to love our 17 Best Golden Globes quotes (in addition to our 7 Best Zingers from the Golden Globes opener!):

Meryl Streep isn’t here tonight. She has the flu, and I hear she’s amazing in it.” — Amy Poehler

“Young Daniel Day-Lewis was E.T. Do the finger! (Daniel Day-Lewis does the E.T. finger).” — Amy Poehler and Tina Fey

“I’m glad to know that [DreamWorks CEO] Jeffrey Katzenberg will never forget my name…because he never knew it.” — President of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association Dr. Aida Takla O’Reilly

“Allow me to say three little words to Bradley Cooper: call me maybe?”  — Dr. Aida Takla O’Reilly. Dang, Dr. Aida! Giving Tina and Amy a run for their money.

Judi Dench? Where did she come from? Unknown, used to be a police officer. Her first role is in…Best  Exotic Marigold Hotel.” — Will Ferrell

“To Harvey Weinstein. Thank you for killing whoever you had to kill to get me up here today.” — Jennifer Lawrence. Check out JLaw’s excellent acceptance speech here!

“What an exciting special guest. That was Hillary Clinton‘s husband!” — Amy Poehler
“That was Bill Clinton! It was Bill Rodham Clinton!” — Tina Fey

“Blerg! Thanks for that word, Tina.” — Anne Hathaway, accepting her Best Supporting Actress award

“Russell Crowe had three months of voice training. Money well-spent!” — Crowe’s Les Miserables coster Sacha Baron Cohen

“Wow, the cast of Downton Abbey have some great weed backstage!” — Aziz Ansari

(Following Lena Dunham‘s Best Actress in a TV Comedy win over Tina and Amy)
“Things are getting sloppy now that we’re all losers.” — Amy Poehler
“You’re welcome, Lena. I glad we got you through middle school.” — Tina Fey

“You know what, Taylor Swift? Stay away from Michael J. Fox‘s son.” — Tina Fey

“You guys might not know this, but I am no Honey Boo Boo Child.” — Jodie Foster. Read more about her epic speech here.

“To the guy or girl who stole the wheels off my bike when I was auditioning for Les Misérables, we’re all good. Keep ‘em. In fact, I’ll leave the frame in the exact same place and you can take it on Monday.” — Hugh Jackman

“Our next presenter is so handsome, he makes young George Clooney look like garbage.” — Tina Fey
“Welcome to the stage, middle-age George Clooney.” — Amy Poehler

“If you thought that was showing off, the Queen is about the sky-dive in to make a last minute plea for Skyfall.” — Daniel Day-Lewis

“Good night! We’re going home with Jodie Foster!” — Amy Poehler

[Photo: Getty Images]