“What Distracts Me From My Reality Is Bigfoot”: Megan Fox’s 8 Weirdest New Esquire Quotes

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Dang, son! Having spent the last few years (and at least one recent Esquire shoot) convincing the world that she is a world-class beauty, Megan Fox is finally ready to get weird in her new Esquire interview. From her intense religious views to her new son Noah to her decision to remove the Marilyn Monroe tattoo from her arm, Megan comes across as an early Angelina Jolie-style odd ball, and we like it. We’d also like to give props to writer Stephen Marche, who brings his own special brand of bizarre to the article. “All that remains of Marilyn is a few drops of black against skin that is the color the moon possesses in the thin air of northern winters,” March writes. Whaaaa? So bring on the vials full of blood, ya’lll! No, that’s already been done…vials full of poop? No, that’s going way too far. Though after reading Megan’s strangest quotes, we wouldn’t be that surprised…

Participating in the Pentecostal church: “I’ve seen people be healed. Even now, in the church I go to, during Praise and Worship I could feel that I was maybe getting ready to speak in tongues, and I’d have to shut it off because I don’t know what that church would do if I started screaming out in tongues in the back.”

Speaking in tongues: “Words are coming out of your mouth, and you can’t control it. The idea is that it’s a language that only God understands. It’s the language that’s spoken in heaven. It’s called ‘getting the Holy Ghost.’”

Believing in leprechauns, the Loch Ness monster, aliens and other unexplained phenomenon: “I believe in all of this stuff. I believe in all of it.”

How much it sucked playing “the hot girl” in the Transformers franchise and other movies : “I felt powerless in that image, I didn’t feel powerful. It ate every other part of my personality, not for me but for how people saw me, because there was nothing else to see or know. That devalued me. Because I wasn’t anything. I was an image. I was a picture. I was a pose.” And yet…that Esquire cover…

How Marilyn Monroe, like Lindsay Lohan, is a tragic figure: “”She wasn’t powerful at the time. She was sort of like Lindsay. She was an actress who wasn’t reliable, who almost wasn’t insurable … She had all the potential in the world, and it was squandered.”

How Megan’s experience with fame is kind of like the Aztec ritual of human sacrifice: “”It’s so similar. It totally is.”

Bigfoot: “What distracts me from my reality is bigfoot. They are my celebrities.”

And finally, humanity: “You and I are humans, this is not all of it. This cannot be, because we are so disappointing…

[Photo: Esquire]