It’s impossible not to be fascinated by the story of Notre Dame football star Manti Te’o and his made-up girlfriend. Whether he was a victim or a co-conspirator in this whole deal, he’s got to be feeling pretty crappy today. Along with all the reporters who never bothered to check whether the girlfriend who tragically died the day before Manti’s big game last year ever existed before reporting on her death. But we can think of a handful of people who must be positively overjoyed about this story:
5. Nev Schulman, the star of MTV’s Catfish. Since Te’o and his school are claiming this was all an elaborate hoax, he is basically the highest profile victim of a “Catfish” scheme, and now we all know what that means. This is the best publicity for Schulman’s show, which follows people as they find out the shocking truth behind the person they met and fell in love with online.
4. Michael Lohan. We still think he’s a terrible person, but we’ve already basically forgotten yesterday’s story in Star, which quoted Lohan as saying Lindsay was getting paid to date very rich men. He later told TMZ that he was misquoted — Lindsay makes cash for her public appearances, not for escorting dudes — but we had already moved on to this Manti thing. Either way, he benefits.
3. Lindsay Lohan. For a minute she doesn’t seem like the worst decision maker on the planet.
2. Deadspin’s Timothy Burke and Jack Dickey. Not only does their article uncovering this whole conspiracy have more than 3 million views now, but they’ve also received Twitter congrats from Donald Trump (who shouted out editor Tom Scocca instead of Jack Dickey), to which they responded “Go f— yourself.” And then they were immortalized in one of those NMA.tv cartoons. Which would make our LIFE.
1. Lance Armstrong. Hey, remember that athlete who really definitely lied to the world and got away with it for decades? Did you know they stripped him of his Olympic bronze medal today? How much you want to bet that Lance is hoping there’s a new Te’o development that breaks at around 9 p.m. ET tonight, thus making us forget to tune in to watch him spill his guts to Oprah.
[Photos: Getty Images]