Of Course There Is A Lance Armstrong Movie Already Being Made! Of Course We Had To Cast It!


Lance Armstrong Movie In Production

We’re betting the second Lance Armstrong agreed to do that revealing Oprah interview this week, a million Hollywood execs shed a single tear, knowing there could be only one Lance Armstrong cheating scandal movie. According to Deadline, Paramount Pictures and producer JJ Abrams beat them all to the punch, closing the deal on the filmmaking rights to the proposal for Cycle of Lies: The Fall Of Lance Armstrong, a book to be written by sports reporter Juliet Macur. That’s right: they bought the proposal to a book that has not yet been written. Now we want to shed a single tear over how genius that is.

Since it’ll be a little while before shooting starts, we have plenty of time to pitch potential actors to play America’s Most Hated Athlete (You’re welcome, Manti Te’o!). As for who should play his ex Sheryl Crow…um, obviously it should be Sheryl Crow herself. Wouldn’t you love to star in your ex’s downfall story? Meanwhile, we’d love to see Sheryl across from…

Matt Damon: Matty D. might be the only actor capable of making us feel real empathy for Armstrong. Or at least deter us from trying to punch him through the movie screen.

Michael Shannon: The Man of Steel actor has Armstrong’s lean good looks, as well as the cojones tan grandes to try to quibble with Oprah on the minor points of a humiliating cheating scandal.

Matthew McConaughey: If McConaughey doesn’t get the Oscar for The Dallas Buyers Club, channeling Armstrong would be a great second try!

Nic Cage: We’re talking about full throttle, sweat-drenched, windswept hair Nic Cage as Lance Armstrong. A story this insane and sweeping deserves an equality epic leading man.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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