Gargoyles! Psychics! They worship the moon! Oh, sorry, we were just getting worked up, thinking about the upcoming third season of American Horror Story after reading Ryan Murphy‘s new and ever more revealing spoilers. “I really miss Jessica Lange as Constance, that kind of stuff. And I know she missed it too,” the show creator told press at an advanced screening of AHS: Asylum‘s season finale. In addition to confirming that we will still get all the Lange our souls require, Murphy said the next season will be “funnier,” take place in modern times in several different cities and will be “really about female power.” Revealed the Glee creator, “I got Jessica to do it because I did everything she asked … and I also told her she will have hair, makeup, and the best designer gowns ever made. She’s going to play a real glamour cat sort of lady.” Glamour…cat…lady. Oh Ryan. How well you know us. How much you’ve learned.
After burning through aliens, Nazis, angels, serial killers and monsters of several different varieties this season alone, Ryan Murphy is obviously going to need to mix it up next season. The show’s writers return on Monday to hash out the third season, but we are already psyched for what we hear is coming our way…and what terrors we hope could join the mix:
- Witches! Rumors have cropped up that the third season could be witch-centric, possibly located in Salem, New Orleans or (based on Murphy’s comments) both! Ryan also indicated this week that the third season’s main creepy character will, unlike Bloody Face and Rubber Man, be female. Just the thought of Jessica Lange as a fabulous, wise-cracking, potion-brewing witch…well, we may never stop screaming. With joy.
- Voodoo! Apparently the use of the song “I Put a Spell On You” in this season’s “Name Game” episode bolstered the speculation that next season would be both witch and voodoo-related. If we were anymore on board, we would be the captain of Ryan Murphy;s bizarro ship.
- Cults! Maybe it’s all The Following ads we’ve been seeing, but we would love to watch Ryan Murphy’s interpretation of a cult. Wait a minute…are we Ryan Murphy’s cult? Can the third season be about us?
- Werewolves! Have you ever seen Ginger Snaps? Since we know at least Sarah Paulson and Evan Peters will be returning next season, we’d love to see some lady beasts prowling around with our man Kit/Tate. Speaking of which…
- Evan Peters’ butt! JK! That’s not new. We can personally guarantee Murphy is going to put plenty of that in the beginning of the third season. It’s like an American Horror Story tradition at this point!
Any other AHS themes or plot lines you’d like to predict for next season? Just remember: just when you think you have enough monsters/killers/monstrosities, add one more. Ryan Murphy is the opposite of Coco Chanel when it comes to horror.