Oooo, our faces are as red as our infected Spanx line! (Thank you, Tina Fey, for informing the world about that dire affliction.) As if it wasn’t enough for her to defy both gravity and cultural perceptions of beauty by becoming hotter as she enters her forties, Jennifer Lopez obviously wore a dress with butt cut-outs to the Parker premiere last night just to demonstrate how she doesn’t need the four pairs of overlapping Spanx most leading ladies wear on the red carpet. Or, uh, any underwear whatsoever. Jeez, we get it, Jennifer Lopez. Your body is its own Spanx.
Not that we’re surprised by how insanely good JLo looked last night. If her barely clothed bridal look at the Golden Globes wasn’t enough to remind us, the Parker trailer starring her and Jason Statham hammers that point home. How does Lopez even have time to film movies when she clearly puts in about 14 hours of squats per day? We’re surprised her kids even learned how to walk properly, what with their mother constantly squatting around the house. The only other way we can understand JLo’s body would be if we learned she has access to some kind of invisible Spanx technology the rest of us mortals don’t have yet. Or if she made a deal with an evil wizard. Whatever that wizard got in exchange for that booty, Jennifer Lopez ripped him off big time.
[Photo: Getty Images]