Beyonce Uses A Blue Toothbrush And 5 Other Questions That Denmark Wanted To Ask At The Super Bowl Junket

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Thanks to today’s wackadoo press conference featuring Beyonce, we now know that she can sing live. (Although, did we really not know that before? The woman has literally been singing non-stop since she was 6 years old.) Anyway, due to lip sync rumors that turned to be tragic realities, Beyoncé admitted she lip synced only AFTER proceeding to sing the Anthem live…at the press conference. That’s Beyoncé for you! Haters to the left! Wait, but she loves haters? Make up your mind, B.

Argue amongst yourselves whether the best part of this magical junket was Bey singing directly at her haters OR the press conference’s very last question, asked by a gentleman from Denmark, as to WHAT COLOR TOOTHBRUSH BEYONCE USES. I didn’t think Beyoncé used a toothbrush–what with her robot teeth all perfect and shiny 24/7–but she claims to use a blue one (“or blue and yellow?”) and therefore all blue toothbrushes are now worth ~$10 more at your local Walgreens.

The Man From Denmark also had two other questions, but he didn’t get to ask them. Here is what I think he meant to inquire: 

  1. Beyoncé, you glorious Queen, what brand of dish soap do you use when you wash your dishes?
  2. Mrs. Beyoncé, and you look fantastic by the way, if you were trapped in a cage with a rabid raccoon and an uncomfortable elephant, which one would you try to save first?
  3. Bey! Bey! How are you? Which cheese do you least prefer?
  4. Can I call you Beyoncé? Great. Beyoncé, who is your favorite puppy in The Puppy Bowl this year?
  5. OMGLSKJFL:SKDFJ:LSKDFJLSDKFJ GOMGLGKJS:LDGJSLKDjfga;lsdjf;alsdjflka;sjdflaj;lfkLAKJSDF;LASJDFSlkajsdf;lasjdfa;sfdaj???