The episode opens with Don basically ignoring an affectionate, bikini-clad Megan on a Hawaiian beach. They have mechanical sexy time at the hotel, spiced up with some marijuana (see above). In fact, he doesn’t even utter a word. He spends most of his nights down at the resort bar, unable to sleep. Seven year itch much?
Roger and Joan’s relationship wasn’t really discussed much in this episode (tragically) but one line lets us know that they are alive and well. As he sees her posing on the stairwell in full bombshell regalia, Roger cracks that he’d like to get his company portrait taken next, but he didn’t want to follow Joan’s “act.” The knowing look she shoots him says it all. Bow-chicka-bow-wow.
Rog had a close call in the aft-chambers at his mother’s funeral with his ex-wife, but she shoots him down…in the most gracious way considering he just buried his mom and all. “I looked out at the crowd and just saw a bunch of women I’ve disappointed,” he wails. Hopefully not in that way.
Probably one of the most disturbing moments in the entire episode (if not the entire history of television) came when Betty (Draper) Francis jokingly (?) accused her husband Henry about crushing on Sally’s 15-year-old violinist friend, Sandy. “No one would blame me for leaving you for a teenage musician,” he fired back with a grin. “She’s just in the next room. Why don’t you go in there and rape her? I’ll hold her arms down,” says Betty. Henry’s flabbergasted “Betty, what the hell?!” went for us, too.
*SPOILER ALERT* Abe and Peggy are still shacking up together, but the coupling that we’re all left talking about is obviously Don and Dr. Rosen’s wife. As she asks if he borrowed her copy of Dante’s Inferno, we realize that this has been going on for a while. Old Don is back. We didn’t like him happy and content anyway!
EPISODE 1 FINAL HOOK UP COUNT:
Don and Megan: 4
Don and Mrs. Rosen: 1 (that we see…)
Roger and Mona Sterling: 0 (Epic fail)
Roger and Joan: Implied
Henry and the Violin-Playing 15-Year Old: No. Just…no. WTF is wrong with you, Betty?