Pretty Little Liars: “A Is For A-L-I-V-E” As Seen By Someone Who’s Never Seen The Show

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Some brunette girl is trying to convince Emily to go to Stanford with her because it’s far away from where they live and it’s far away from A. OH THEY ARE LESBIANS. OKAY. Good to know.

Mona is flirting with Hannah post their shopping trip, but Hannah clearly isn’t a lesbian, which might be awkward for Mona, but then Mona mentions someone named Noel she used to date. Creepy Mona calls Hannah out on pretending to be her friend and offers her the data-chip-thing and claims it’s the only copy. She then adds, “I really loved you once and I really was your friend.”

Back to the out lesbians… Emily kisses her California Dream goodbye and is met by some creepy brunette with a burn on her hand. They talk about things I can’t understand and some guy named Darren and Arson Eyebrows is mentioned.

Spencer Tracy sees Alison’s mom staring at her from across the street and then gets a message from A on her iPad. The message reveals that Wharton College’s name is Darren Wilden (and now a lot more things make sense) and that Wilden’s open casket will expose their secrets.

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