Pretty Little Liars: “Face Time” Or Only Crazy People Eat Macaroons

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Hello! There were still no parrot sightings, but there’s a new dowdy detective in town and there was a safety deposit box full of cash and passports and we learned that only crazy people like macaroons (and that Hanna’s mom is probably guilty and that Spencer’s sister is trying to protect her). Let’s get to it!

Someone in army fatigues shows up and Emily hugs him, so I guess that’s her dad. Or she really supports the troops. At school, discount Jacob Black tells Hanna that her dad thinks that her mom stole the gun. I like Hanna’s shirt. It’s distracting me. Hanna is asking Spencer Tracy to go after her sister. They’re having a girly pow-wow and it turns out they’re being watched…BY THE COPS! The police are finally cottoning to the fact that these girls know a lot of murdered people. Or at least a new character, a very dowdy female cop is.

We cut to the coffee shop. Spencer Tracy’s mom and sister Melissa are there talking about how beautiful Melissa’s coats are. Spencer Tracy gives sass and her mom says that she shouldn’t be jealous of her sister, and I agree, because the actress playing Spencer Tracy can act and the actress playing Melissa can’t.

Anyway, Spencer Tracy finally reveals that she’s not going to U Penn and her mom and sister are like, “Yes, you are!” Spencer’s like, “No, I’m not!” Her mom and sister repeat, “Yes, you’re going to U Penn!” and Spencer says, “No, they don’t want me!” and this goes on and on and I can’t help but feel that Spencer should just go to some nice liberal arts school in New England so she can tell her family to f–k off.

Hanna goes to her mom’s office and it turns out that the cops are there, too. They found a box that belonged to dead Officer Wharton College. It’s full of Bourne Identity stuff like cash and guns and multiple passports. The question is did Hanna’s mom know Officer Wharton College was a scummy bad guy???

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