Pretty Little Liars: “Face Time” Or Only Crazy People Eat Macaroons

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This is the moment when Spencer Tracy should just give up and queue up some British sci-fi.

Spencer Tracy confronts her sister and demands answers, and her sister smartly says, “Like, answers make you any happier.” Answers would make me happier though. WHAT IS GOING ON!?!?!? They talk about the Halloween train and Creepy Mona. I miss Creepy Mona. Melissa claims she wanted to know when Allison got her mask made–if it was before or after her disappearance.

So, Melissa also is of the “Allison is alive” conspiracy club. She admits to being on a Halloween train, blah blah blah. Melissa didn’t try to kill Spencer Tracy, but Officer Wharton College who was wearing the same costume did, blah blah blah. There’s clubs and blackmail and murders, blah blah blah. There’s a fire and arson and a lady in a red coat, blah blah blah.

Intrigue has never intrigued me less.

Melissa begs Spencer Tracy to let it go and swears that she’s been protecting her, and I have three older sisters and if one of them told me the same thing, I would be like, “Okay, cool. Have fun with your murder plot. I’m going to watch old episodes of Doctor Who in my room.” Which is why I’m not someone exciting in real life.

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