Pretty Little Liars: “Gamma Zeta Die!” Or Hanna Is The Dumbest



Lucy Hale is a lovely girl, but this skirt is the ugliest thing I’ve seen on this show and I just watched a woman get stung by a bunch of bees.

When we return from break, Aria tells Emily over the phone that her mom’s totally okay even though she was just attacked by a ton of bees. Emily runs into Spencer Tracy’s college pimp date and professionally flirts with him. A flirt is when you just want sex from someone. A professional flirt is when you want success from someone. Emily’s professional flirt is on point and college pimp guy happily helps her look through some books.

Hanna’s mom visits her lawyer who is Spencer Tracy’s mom. Spencer Tracy’s mom doesn’t care if she’s guilty or not, which probably means she’s a really good lawyer.

Ivy league pimp brings up the fact that Emily is of mixed race which colleges love, and Spencer Tracy finally arrives. Spencer Tracy poops on the Ivy League pimp’s idea of roadtripping to Brown (which is a great school) in favor of going to Cicero College to solve a murder.

Later, Aria confronts her brother about weinerschnitzel blocking their mom. He’s like, “You just want her in Vienna because she’s Fitzblocking you.” And there might be truth to that. Aria’s entire character is based in her wanting to bone her hot teacher.

Hanna’s mom is trying to give her a reality check about how she might not get into FIT, because honestly, have we ever seen her sew anything on this show? But that’s when Spencer Tracy’s mom calls with law news. Hanna’s mom leaves the room, but Hanna picks up the phone and listens in and hears that it’s looking REALLY BAD for her mom. Like, shorn hair bad.

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