Pretty Little Liars: “Gamma Zeta Die!” Or Hanna Is The Dumbest



“Hi. I’m calling from a creepy lair.”

Spencer Tracy and Aria try to logically explain what the deal with the phone in the creepy room is, but they can’t because nothing in his show is logical.

Some frat boys spill snacks on Hanna, which is an accurate depiction of college party life. Hanna sees an empty mug and leaves with it.

Emily sees Hanna leave the party and leaves Ivy League pimp to huff and puff and follow her. He wants to hold her hand in a 1960s way and Emily explains she’s a lesbian. Like an actual good guy, Ivy League pimp offers to help because frat parties are dangerous for all girls, especially gorgeous lesbians sneaking around in unfamiliar woods.

Spencer Tracy realizes she’s lost both of her friends and we cut to Emily walking around alone in the dark woods behind a frat party. Spencer walks worriedly through the outdoor crowd looking for her friends. I’m wondering why they don’t stay in a safe place and text each other where they are.

Someone hears Emily’s calls for Hanna and she calls out to the person following her. A frat boy jumps out of the trees and terrifies Emily. He sprays silly string on her, which isn’t actually what frat boys usually spray on young women alone in the woods.

Emily and Spencer Tracy find each other and move to find Hanna. Unfortunately, dumb Hanna gets arrested by cops as she’s trying to bury the murder weapon.


The girls get a text from A that suggests Hanna and her mom can share a lawyer.

The final scene is someone wearing gloves while they make tea and stare longingly at a dust covered photo of the creepy sorority mom.

I still miss the parrot.

[Photo Credit: ABC Family &]

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