Hello! It’s another week of Pretty Little Liars and it’s another week of me not knowing what’s going on. That said, I do know that Hanna is dumb, but has great taste in nail polish, though. I also know that my interest in this show is based largely on how much a parrot named Tippy gets featured and today, Tippy the Parrot was only mentioned in passing, so this was not one of my favorites. My favorite Pretty Little Liars episode would be just 45 minutes of Tippy singing in a dojo, but we can’t always get what we want.
Let’s do this!
We open on Dowdy Cop making a cup of coffee while she interrogates dumb Hanna. Dowdy Cop is smart and can tell that Hanna, while dumb, is dumbly loyal and that she’s covering up for someone else. Hanna’s bail gets paid and when she’s leaving the police station, she runs into her dad, but he’s not there to be supportive. He’s there because they’re testing his gun to see if it’s the Officer Wharton College murder weapon (which, come on, it is).
Later, Hanna is talking to Emily on the phone and Emily suggests that maybe because A is blackmailing them and they have proof of that blackmail, that maybe they should tell the cops about how they’ve been blackmailed and extorted and set up for years, but because that’s smart, Hanna says no.
Emily is met in the locker room by that studious girl who swims at another school, only now she’s a student at Rosewood. She joined their swim team to steal Emily’s scholarship. The music is ominous as the girl picks up a poster for an “Open Mic Night” and as Emily snatches it away.
Head’s up, guys: you can’t compete for or win a scholarship at open mics. You only win pain.