On Friday, Lee Daniel’s The Butler hits theaters nationwide. The thing that has us most excited about the film is the ensemble cast that includes Oprah(!), James Marsden (hot) and Mariah Carey (still trying to make that acting thing work). Luckily, the utilizes its strong cast to tell the story of Eugene Allen, who worked for the White House for 34 years. On the flip side, there are films like Valentine’s Day, Bobby and The Big Wedding that just flail under the notion that casting a bunch of A-List names will result in a good movie. Sorry, no.
10. He’s Just Not That Into You
This is the first of two self-help books that were adapted for the big screen. In this one, Gennifer Goodwin tests the limits of her likability by blindly pursuing Justin Long while Jennifer Connelly looks as miserable as her haircut and Jennifer Aniston insists that she doesn’t want to get married. Wait, was this movie ripped from the headlines? Sadly, no. The only redeeming factor about this film is that it doesn’t have Katherine Heigl.
Crash may be one of the most overrated films to win the Oscar. When it took home Best Picture in 2006 over Brokeback Mountain, most people scratched their heads. Sure there were some great moments and some fine acting by Matt Dillon (yes, you read that correctly) but the movie was just so heavy-handed and suffocating.
8. Mars Attacks!
Tim Burton attempted to create a more straight-forward comedy film but ended up with a scatter shot of gags that didn’t quite come together. Considering how many big names appeared in the flick, no one really stood out aside from Sarah Jessica Parker’s head on a chihuahua.
7. New York, I Love You
The film, which is a bunch of shorts edited together, had too many ideas and not enough execution. Unlike its predecessor, Paris, je taime, most of shorts lacked an emotional connection to the city they meant to shine the light on. What’s more frightening is that they cut two of the vignettes, so audiences didn’t even get to see how bad Scarlett Johansson’s directorial debut was.
Sometimes Hollywood is fooled into thinking that something is better than it is. That’s the case with Bobby, which was written and directed by Emilio Estevez. The mix of actors (Sharon Stone, Heather Graham, Nick Cannon) made less sense than the story lines happening in the same hotel at the same time of Robert F. Kennedy’s assassination. Also this was the era of Lindsay Lohan’s first comeback. Yes, the first, when she attempted to rehab her image by doing a serious, dramatic role. It was serious but not much else.
5. The Big Wedding
Apparently, Hollywood ran out of holidays to theme ensemble films around. After Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day and New Year’s Eve, they thought a wedding film was in order. The first mistake: casting Katherine Heigl. The second? Everything else. We get it, Diane Keaton is great and respected but she’s the same aggravating stunt-cast mother in every movie. Meanwhile, Robin Williams still thought he was on the set of License To Wed and thought he’d play the same obnoxious character.
4. Ocean’s Twelve
Ocean’s 11 played it fun, fast and loose. Director Steven Soderbergh gathered Hollywood’s A-List for what felt like a victory lap of cool. But in the sequel, everyone got a little too smug. The cool factor was gone, the franchise tropes were added and Julia Roberts had trouble playing herself. Luckily, the threequel ended the franchise on a high note.
3. New Year’s Eve
Ugh. There’s so many things wrong with this film of interweaving stories packed with too many stars doing incredulous things. Say, Katherine Heigl as a private chef who broke Bon Jovi’s heart but is, in fact, heartbroken herself. Okay, sure. Then we were expected to believe that Zac Efron would fall for Michelle Pfeiffer. And Ashton Kutcher roams Times Square in his pajamas. Also, did I mention Katherine Heigl?
2. What To Expect When You’re Expecting
The second self-help book on this list really made pregnancy look horrifying. Sadly, the always on-point Elizabeth Banks and Rebel Wilson couldn’t save this train wreck. The story lines were as contrived as the volleyball Brooklyn Decker stuck in her dress and called it a baby bump. Bump, set, snooze.
1. Valentine’s Day
The worst of the worst is Valentine’s Day. The first of the exhausting holiday-themed ensemble films tried to make audiences fall in love with V-Day. As if watching Ashton Kutcher obnoxiously wax poetic about a Hallmark card holiday was what every Rom-Com fan wanted. Also, Julia Roberts as a soldier stuck on a plane with a (surprise, he’s gay) Bradley Cooper may be one of the most irritating scenes on screen.