Three hours is a long time to devote to precious children and singing nuns, you guys. How have you done it more than once? No, really, I remember being a kid, glimpsing those images of Julie in her technicolor blonde — very un-Mary Poppins-ish — ‘do with her arms outstretched and just thinking, “Nope. No time for that weirdness.” I have much less time now, especially when it meant missing Scandal.
And yet, in three hours, they didn’t have time to show me why nun/governess Maria and mean old Captain Von Trapp fell in love. Because he saw his kids singing, I think? Could you maybe have skipped a few thousand verses of “Do-Re-Mi” to establish some chemistry?
Vampire Bill, I mean, Stephen Moyer, is an OK singer, I guess. But if live singing is how you’re selling this thing, you chose wrong.
So, there’s some rich lady that Captain Von Trapp is really supposed to marry, which, of course you never believe for a second that he will. Why, then, do we have to watch her and some other guy they call Uncle Max talk and talk and talk? Actually, they seem like fun enough characters. Maybe they should climb over those hills to another show?
The looming Nazi danger. Hey, I’m the descendent of Holocaust survivors, so I know from looming Nazi danger. Fleeing the country ’cause you kinda don’t feel like the new flag matches your decor just seems like an overreaction. One less “Hills Are Alive” and you could have established that they were the most evil force in the world.