Malin Akerman’s Boob Cage To Terry Crews’ Lounge Act: The Week’s Worst-Dressed

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We’re less than two weeks into the new year and still waiting for most stars to come out of hibernation and put their crazy getups on display — I mean, what are they afraid of, that they’ll appear in this post or something? That must be why they invented the People’s Choice Awards and the Palm Springs International Film Festival, to keep wacko fashions in the public eye at all times.

Between Malin Akerman’s unflattering boob cage and Marisa Tomei’s maybe-probably camel-toe-creating Mother of the Vampire Bride number, we are definitely still in business here. The week had some probably deliberate entries by Will Ferrell and Melissa Leo, some trying-too-hard moments (Terry Crews, Matthew McConaughey, listen to your wives next time), and some sad but complete lapses in judgment (Alyssa Milano and Kim Gordon, we just can’t). We also can’t ignore the folks who just failed to try — Jonah Hill, Jemima Kirke, stop pretending you don’t care that you’re famous; it’s too late.

Once a few more awards shows are under our belt, it’s going to be pretty hard to decide who belongs in these lists, so enjoy this easy choice while you can and tell us: