Ask any celebrity and they’ll tell you that there’s just as much stress involved in walking a red carpet at an awards show like the 2014 Golden Globes as there is sitting in your seat wondering if you’ve won or lost. In order to deflect some of the stress and anxiety, many celebs choose to partner up and tackle the carpet with a friend, a family member, a spouse, or even a potential lover. Sometimes, this arm candy means that the celebs are more relaxed when they’re speaking to Ryan Seacrest, and other times, you can see the couple barely being able to fight off the urge to make a beeline straight for a bathroom stall for some pre-show nookie.
Tonight’s red carpet couples on the Golden Globes were a mixed bunch. Some of them looked even more randy than Macho Man Savage, and others looked like they could barely stand being in the other’s presence. Using time-honored techniques like body language analysis and rumor mill aggregation (along with a healthy dose of wild, unbridled speculation), we ranked some of our favorite red carpet couples—including the likes of Matthew McConaughey, Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, Lena Dunham and more!— according to how much (or how little!) red carpet chemistry they had tonight.