5. Safe Haven
Naturally I was excited to find that Netflix is currently streaming the most recent Sparks flick, featuring the greatest romantic couple of our time: Josh Duhamel and Julianne Hough. Ryan Seacrest‘s ex has done a few movies since becoming your grandmother’s favorite celebrity on Dancing With the Stars (see: Footloose and Rock of Ages) but my expectations for her dramatic prowess were ankle-high at best. We open with a frantic brunette covered in blood banging on her neighbor’s window. Whoa: Julienned peppers gone horribly wrong, or did she just murder someone? Soon enough, Julianne is blonde and boarding a bus with her hood up while an agent-type scours the station looking for her. Amazingly, she escapes his pursuit and gets off hours later in the little beachside town most people simply pass through. Well most guys who sell me coffee don’t look like Josh Duhamel, and if you’re looking to start over why not do it while getting a tan? As soon as “Katie” (Hough) gets settled with a job, a home and meets her creepy “neighbor,” Jo (HIMYM‘s Cobie Smulders) she starts bonding with Sexy Store Owner after an extended joke about paint. Katie becomes a part of the family, just as the deranged, alcoholic agent–also known as her abusive husband–stumbles into town on Independence Day. Yes, this is a town most people only stop in for bathrooms and gas, but it draws over 100,000 for its impressive fireworks display. An ugly, physical altercation ensues leaving Katie’s husband six feet under. Do you know who else is six feet under? Jo, who’s actually the ghost of Alex’s dead wife, who followed Katie to make sure she was the right woman for her family. So we’ve already met the mother? Cool.