How To Give The Best Oscar Speech Ever! (Hint: You Really Don’t Have To Thank Your Lawyer)

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2) Make It All About You And Your Special Journey

Or not. It all depends on what kind of attention you want.

Anne Hathaway made eyes roll across America when she accepted her Oscar for Les Miserables last year with a cloying, “It came true.” It being the dream she dreamed as Fantine (and as Anne Hathaway). It drew attention to her role, her ambition and her hunger for the top prize.

Hathaway, though, has nothing on Sally Field, who famously went off on a tangent about how she didn’t feel like she was really embraced by Hollywood when she won her Oscar for Norma Rae–while she was accepting the award for Places In The Heart. The speech feels like two years of therapy condensed into a minute and the point she arrives at is, “you like me, right now, you like me!”

It’s a speech that produces mild secondhand embarrassment, but hey, we all remember it, right?

 

3) Bring Up Sex

The Oscars are one of the most dignified and austere nights of the year, which means they need to be SEXED UP. Most of us are fading after twenty minutes of listening to rich and beautiful people praise themselves, so why not keep our interests by heating things up?

Your mom might not have ever seen the Holocaust drama, The Pianist, but she’s definitely seen Adrian Brody plant a passionate kiss on Halle Berry numerous times. MAKE OUT! MAKE OUT! KISS! KISS!

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