4) Thank Your Family
Look, we get it, Hollywood. Part of your job includes having lawyers and agents and managers and make up people and chauffeurs and Harvey Weinstein involved in your day-to-day life. By all means, thank them. Off stage. With a fruit basket. Or a nice hand-written note.
See, we don’t care about your lawyer. We do care about whether or not you have family members that you love because it makes you look semi-human for a change. Mention your cute kid by name and playfully admonish them to go to bed. Give thanks to your hard-working mom and dad. Say you love your brother! Just look human for three minutes and not like the glorious god of acting you believe you are in your mind.
Then again, if you do mention how much you love your brother, don’t kiss him. That doesn’t make you look relatable, either. (But we will remember it, Angelina Jolie…)
5) Just Say “Thank You”
If all else fails, and you blank out, just remember that all you have to do is to say, “Thank you.” In fact, some of the most memorable speeches are the short ones! Joe Pesci might have done it best in 1991 when he accepted his award for Best Supporting Actor in Goodfellas by just saying, “It’s my privilege. Thank you.”
Hey, it’s not much, but we will remember it.