Shark Week kicks off tonight at 8 p.m. EST on the Discovery Channel, and don’t act like you’re not excited. For seven glorious days, we get to indulge in a topic that frightens and excites us more than anything else: SHARKS ATTACKING PEOPLE. Well, sharks doing anything, really. These razor-toothed fishes are f—kin’ awesome creatures that dazzle us with their majestic prowess, and Discovery acknowledges this with its annual week-long homage. There should be a channel solely dedicated to Jaws, to be honest.
As always, Shark Week is a hodgepodge of new specials and oldie-but-goodie throwbacks. At VH1, we want to make your viewing experience as smooth and painless as possible, so here’s a quick-and-dirty guide to the most exciting week of television. Ever.
8 p.m.: Air Jaws: Fins of Fury
The iconic Air Jaws series comes back to explore one of our favorite sharks, the great white. This time, Natural History producer Jeff Kurr and his team return to track down “Colossus,” a missing “mega-shark.” Expect lots of cool gadgets.
9 p.m.: Shark of Darkness: Wrath of Submarine
This documentary tells the legend of “Submarine,” a 30-foot great white off the coast of South Africa. But is it real?
1 p.m.: Great White Gauntlet
Divers head into Australia’s shark-infested waters for a million-dollar reward, but they’ve got to survive the great whites that lurk underneath.