Posts By AlexBlagg

by

Sara and I Finally Tell The Truth About Ourselves

So you know that part on Gossip Girl the other night where we find out that Blair Waldorf’s new boyfriend wasn’t actually who said he was!?! Well a very similar thing happened last night right here in the BWE.tv break room, where SECRETS and REVELATIONS were REVEALED! See for yourselves:

by

ICYMI: Daily Show Goes To The Republican National Convention, Finds World’s Biggest Douche

While the adorably out-of-touch delusion found at the Republican National Convention will obviously provide an all-you-can-eat buffet of potential hilarity for The Daily Show news team, they really outdid themselves with this hilarious piece, in which they imagine Xcel Center as a holding pen for Republican refugees whose big Bush bash got rained on by that annoying hurricane on the Gulf Coast. The best – and perhaps most telling – part undoubtedly comes 52 seconds in, when they encounter a man who is undoubtedly the biggest douchebag the world has ever known and who expresses his frustration about the convention being canceled “to placate the liberal media” and his Republican brethren’s inability to “tell the truth about Barack Obama just cause some people are gettin’ rained on”. I have a feeling this is gonna be a good week for The Daily Show.

by

A Liveblog Of My Thoughts While Watching The New 90210 Pilot

00514830472.jpg

Like many people my age, I grew up watching Beverly Hills 90210, and so like a moth to the flame, I simply had to tune in to see what modern times and The CW has done to the denizens of West Beverly High. I thought you might like to experience this heart-wrenching exercise in nostalgia-rape with me, so I decided to liveblog the whole thing.

00:01 – The opening bars of that latest Coldplay song begin, trumpeting the dawn of a new era in overblown Los Angeles-based teenage TV drama. No soundtrack by The Heights here. This ain’t your daddy’s 90210!

00:30 – Holy sh*t, what’s Michael from The Wire doing here? Is this what happened when he finally got out of Baltimore? That would sort of be the same plot at as The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Also, are these Beverly Hills bimbos gonna have any idea that they’re going to school with one of Marlo Stanfield’s hardest street killers?

02:00 – And Lucille Bluth is here, this time playing…uh, Lucille Bluth! I hope the guy who made Arrested Development is at least getting royalties for her character.

04:00 – Our first West Beverly Hills High exterior montage. Palm trees! Sports Cars! Hot Girls! So Beverly Hills, you guys.

04:30 – Not even five minutes in and we’ve already got our first act of teenage fellatio, and in the front seat of a car parked directly outside of a high school in broad daylight nonetheless! I can tell this dreamboat “Ethan” is going to be a real handful – or mouthful (hey-O!).

05:00 - And we finally meet the inevitable “arty outsider rebel filmmaker guy” character in the journalism class. Why does this guy have to show up in every one of these teen shows? Guys, keep it down – he’s “producing this package”…

06:00 – Hey, it’s the scruffy Superbad-referencing hipster highschool teacher in his early 30′s – I wonder which of the barely legals is gonna sleep with him first!

07:00 – Ohmygod it’s a picture of Kelli! And wait, she’s all growns up now! And she works at West Beverly High? She’s probably gonna do it with this dreamy new principal, but that would be so dramatic.

08:00 – The Alpha Teen Queens are sniffing each other out. Why are the popular girl’s sidekicks always texting somebody on these shows? Wait, is that why those phones are called Sidekicks?

Read the rest, after the jump!

Read more…

by

…OF THE DAY

david_duchovny_gillian_anderson_bed.jpg

  • JACK PORNER: For a guy whose acting resume includes The Red Shoe Diaries, Working Girl, Full Frontal, Californication and Julia Has Two Lovers, I would never have guessed that David Duchovny was so into porn. (Contact Music)
  • POP PUNDIT: When her thoughts aren’t dominated by partying, shopping, distancing herself from her father or reveling in her burgeoning love affair with that DJ chick, Lindsay Lohan is thinking, like, long and hard about presidential politics. (Lindsay’s MySpace Blog)
  • INTERNET INTERNET DATABASE: Every Internet Celebrity ever, all in one convenient place: on the Internet. (CollegeHumor)
  • RAD MEN: I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought it was lame when Music Pitchfork Likes showed up in the early sixties in last weekend’s episode of Mad Men. (Videogum)
  • GET A CLUE: Josh Hartnett was apparently caught on videotape, doing it with Miss Body, in the Library, in some hotel in London. (Socialite Life)

by

JK, You Guys

KANYE PIC BLOG2.jpg

Do you guys seriously think we’d hand the keys to our beloved blog over to Kanye West? But happy Labor Day, that was fun.

by

DIDDEO: John McCain, Who Is Bugging The F*ck Out, Loses Crucial Diddy Endorsement

There is no sound that more perfectly begins a Monday morning than “Diddy Obama Blog! Diddy Obama Blog! Diddy Obama Blog!” being shouted at you in a YouTube video by a guy who’s twirling around in circles. In his latest video dispatch, Diddy (who now seems to be toying with the idea of changing his name yet again, this time to Sir Rock Obama) spends a solid four minutes informing us of his displeasure with John McCain’s selection of a Vice Presidential candidate. While we certainly have our own reservations about Sarah “See What Abstinence Programs Did For My Family!” Palin, Diddy mostly seems to take issue with the fact that the woman McCain hopes to put a heartbeat away from the presidency only has experience governing in Alaska, where there are apparently no black people or crackheads. He also says something about Ray J, then states his intentions to mobilize millions of American young people to “get busy on y’all asses on November 4th”.

by

John McCain Launches “Historical Candidacy Lite”

capt.1b8e7bf6280b4fde904b3ef87c9ff9c4.cvn_mccain_veepstakes__ny108.jpgDENVER — By picking Gov. Sarah Palin from Alaska to be his vice president, John McCain now boasts the only barrier-breaking presidential campaign option with all the same “hope and change stuff” taste that’s high in still feeling good about yourself, but with 0 black guys ending up in the white house. McCain’s announcement of his shrewd decision to select a relatively inexperienced and previously unknown woman to share his presidential ticket – which would have been a landmark move were he not running against a charismatic black man whose own historical campaign for the presidency has been steadily building momentum following his narrow victory over a female politician whose achievements were actually remarkable – came only hours after Obama captured the hearts and minds of a nation with his deeply inspiring remarks last night in Denver, but McCain’s people assure us this coincidence of timing was in no way intended to dilute the impact of Obama’s dramatic and historic speech. So far, McCain’s announcement was been met with predictable point-missing. “Wait, so no matter what happens, there’s either gonna be a black guy or a woman in the white house? That’s awesome!” said some voter who is easily manipulated by cynical politicking and feeble media-sensationalizing. “I mean, I’m all for women and black people and stuff, but maybe we should start slow, like with the Vice Presidency, you know?”, added some white guy.

by

Do Your Part To Rid The World Of Heidi & Spencer

AOL’s PopEater, one of the biggest celebrity-related sites on the Internet, is running a poll asking readers whether or not they should ban all Heidi and Spencer-related coverage from their sites, which strikes me as a uniquely democratic opportunity for all of us to play a small part in ridding the world of these terrible, terrible people. God knows we’ve tried to dispense with them around here, but they’re just too damn easy to make fun of. Anyway, make your voices heard – then hold AOL to their promise!

For more widgets please visit www.yourminis.com

by

ICYMI: Finally, A Comprehensive Guide To Dick Moves

Our friends at Videogum found this funny sketch PSA with a premise is so sublimely simple that you can’t help but grin the whole time you watch it. Basically, a couple guys – with the help of a giant foam penis man – clearly illustrate a wide variety of behaviors that could accurately be classified as “dick moves”. Take a look, because you just might learn something.