Posts By AlexBlagg

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While You Were Shouting Out “Yes We Can!” During Sex

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  • David Duchovny is in rehab for sex addiction, or as the Showtime publicity people like to call it, Californication.
  • Lindsay Lohan’s uncle has been sentenced to a year in prison for defrauding 9/11 relief funds. Wow, I think we may have finally found the worst living Lohan.
  • Tim Gunn says Miley Cyrus is “too tarty”, which is 15 year-old for “she acts like a tramp”.
  • Are the girls in Danity Kane squabbling over which one Diddy likes best. Silly ladies, you Diddy loves all his Danity divas equally.
  • Charles Barkley says he’s thinking about running for governor of Alabama, which would pretty much be the awesomest thing to happen to Alabama since…well, I don’t think anything that awesome has ever happened in Alabama before.

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So It’s Really Come To This, Internet?

Guys, is it just me or is the Internet being totally no fun and boring this week? I mean, I keep clicking the “refresh” button on my RSS reader like the blog monkey I am, desperately hoping for something – anything – of interest to come down the amusement tube and onto my computer screen, but nothing ever does. I think something may have happened to the magic elves who make the Internet work, or all the crazies who usually amuse us on the YouTubes are too busy watching the Democratic National Convention to record themselves being retarded so that we may laugh. Things have gotten so slow and boring that I’m actually going to post the following video, and on top of a cat video nonetheless. It’s the “dog days” of summer, am I right? Wow, I just said that. Please, some one make the Internet come back on before I have to kill the weatherman.

(via David Cho)

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AD WIZARDS: If You’re Gonna Have Sex With A Reanimated Man-Monster, You Should Probably Use A Condom

You guys, safe sex is important. I mean, it’s the 90′s, you know? And as this commercial so helpfully reminds us, if you’re going to choose to have sex with a reanimated Frankenstein man-monster who’s been constructed out of several people’s body parts by a deranged scientist, you should really make sure he uses a condom. Because you’re not just sleeping with Frankenstein, you’re sleeping with every person the person whose penis Frankenstein now has slept with, too.

(via AdRants)

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ICYMI: Teen Wolf + Green Screen + Sketch Group = Comedy Gold

Oh man I’ve been LOL’ing all day at this video from Summer Of Tears, in which these wacky kids insert themselves into scenes from the 80′s preeminent “teenager coming of age as a werewolf” movie, Teen Wolf. So many classic lines (many of which are NSFW), I don’t even know where to begin. I just hope they make more of these.

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While You Were Celebrating The 45th Anniversary Of Martin Luther King Jr’s Dream

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  • Michael Phelps will host the season premiere of SNL on September 13. I don’t know about his comedy chops, but he definitely looks funny. (Hey-O! I’m apparently Henny Youngman this morning.)
  • Rap mogul and all-around scumbag Suge Knight was arrested for violently beating his girlfriend while brandishing a knife. Beating on poor Vanilla Ice is one thing, but this is just flat out unacceptable.
  • Meanwhile, OJ Simpson’s daughter beat him up in a fit of rage, but showed uncharacteristic restraint by not also murdering him.
  • You guys better tell your friends to start watching Gossip Girl, because I honestly don’t know what I would do with myself if they took my Chuck Bass away.
  • George Clooney’s ex-girlfriend reportedly cheated on George Clooney with a media mogul (read: fat guy). Makes sense.

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CAPTION THIS: E.V.Oh No!

Rachael Ray is utterly at a loss for what to do when confronted with food that doesn’t already come in a can or pre-processed packaging of some sort. Yum-gross!

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