Flying high on the momentum of this week’s Democratic National Convention in Denver, everyone finally seems to be coming around to Barack Obama, even noted country & westard Toby Keith, who has arrived at the realization that, despite being black, Obama is “one of the good ones”. It’s probably good that this is a joke and would never actually happen on account of Keith being a racist, because it would just be too weird if it did. Anyways, Beer For My Horses, you guys.
(via Gorillamask)
After the jump, today’s BWE Alarm Clock!
Due to some technical difficulties, we were unable to bring you last week’s installment of our pal Michael Cyril Creighton’s weekly review of your home entertainment options I Like To Watch, but better late than never, Micheal his back with the scoop on Prom Night, Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day and the second season of Dexter. It’s the perfect triple feature!
You guys, the Bristow family is reunited. Hopefully it’s for the happy news of Jennifer Garner’s second pregnancy with Ben Affleck as opposed to some kind of nefarious new plot by Sloane and Sark to use some newly-discovered Rimbaldi artifacts to conquer the planet (with boredom – seriously, there is nothing on the Internet today).
(via BuzzFoto)
Remember the lame plot point at the end of last season on Gossip Girl where Serena was losing her sh*t and being all “oh noes, will Dan ever love me again!?!” because she supposedly “killed a guy” when in actuality some junkie who tried to date rape her just did too much coke and OD’d? Well our friend Heather Fink created an alternate – and infinitely more satisfying – ending, which is what really should have gone down if the show wasn’t a cartoon of a soap opera and had the balls to be a bit more stabby. Also, look for a cameo from our own Brian Faas!
What happens when you combine hipster-hop’s golden boy Kanye West with uber-cool Japanese anime artist Takashi Murakami and throw in a little Back To the Future nostalgia to taste? A giant explosion of unfathomable animated “Good Morning” awesomeness, that’s what! Please enjoy.
After the jump, today’s BWE Alarm Clock!
So you’re using the Axe Body Spray, and the Axe Shower Gel, and the Axe Deodorant, and the Axe Aftershave, and the Axe Facial Scrub, and the Axe Hair Mousse, and your body perpetually smells like a giant nuclear factory that makes musk – but you’re still somehow not getting laid. You smell like a West Indian rain forest filled with mint and citrus trees, and you’re exuding enough pheromones to impregnate a barren menopausal nun, and – impossibly – girls still don’t want to do it with you. You’re the complete package, so what could you possibly be doing wrong? What’s missing? Perhaps I could direct your attention to the Axe Detailer Shower Tool, the latest item on Axe’s line of poontang-attracting personal grooming products that is guaranteed to make you more desirable to the ladies.
Now, before we go any further, I know what some of you might be thinking: “But Alex, that’s just a loofah. I’ve seen these before. Bill O’Reilly uses them as sex toys and all the chicks I nail have them in their showers.” Which is where I would inform you that, actually, this is a Shower Tool, not a loofah. There’s a difference. Men use tools. Women use things with candy-ass names that you’ve never heard before. Also, perhaps you didn’t notice the badass ninja-star-looking things on the side of the shower tool? Do you think anybody other than a man would be capable of scrubbing their bodies with an object that appears to have plastic sawblades on its sides? Of course not. If you’re truly committed to getting laid by making yourself the cleanest, nicest smelling douchebag in the world, then you’ll stop what your doing right now and get yourself an Axe Detailer Shower Tool, tool.
