HEADLINE: "Jessica Alba officially sexy" – Who knew? (Female First)
DISTURBING CATCHPHRASE: "Fixin’ to do an R. Kelly" (All Headline News)
DISTURBING R. KELLY ACOLYTE: This complete weirdo who "hides in bathrooms, and drinks people’s urine." (NBC4 – if you’re brave enough)
EMERGED CAVE DWELLER: Illinois Governor – and apparently his staff – who didn’t realize The Daily Show was a comedy spoof. (AP)
ROCK STARS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS: "Crack makes me happy," said addled rocker Pete Doherty. Yes, Pete – it makes you happy because IT’S CRACK! (Mirror)
EMBRACING YOUR OWN STEREOTYPE: Some pothead forgot to address a package he mailed containing half a pound of weed. Might wanna lay of the doobage there, bro. (AP)
RANDOM BLOG: The Sound of Young America (TSOYA)
SHIRTLESS MYSPACE BRO: "Live like you mean it…" Or like a douche. Either way, Eddie. (MySpace)
The always-amusing Worth 1000 site has launched a new contest called "Mate-A-Movie", inviting their best choppers to combine the posters of two iconic films. Hilarity ensues:
Well, if you’re looking for Buffalo Wings, I would highly suggest calling Buffalo Road. I would also highly suggest watching this commercial. (via)
NOTE: We’re always looking for great local commercials. If you see something hilarious, be sure to YouTube it and send it along to us!
Have you ever seen those bulletins on MySpace where people are encouraged to shuffle their iPods and post the first 5-10 songs that come up for all to see?
Well, the Onion AV Club had a brilliant idea and decided to play this game with a few (minor) celebrities including Death Cab For Cutie’s Ben Gibbard, comedians David Cross and Eugene Mirman, Modest Mouse’s Issac Brock and more. Check the songs that these folks are listening to — and why.
When you’re done, shuffle your own iPods and post the first 5 songs that come up in our comments section. Be honest! No one here will judge you for your love of Billy Joel (seriously, he’s good).
HEADLINE: "Spider-Man Robs Comic Book Store" – Be sure to watch the hilarious video! (CBS)
HEADLINE RUNNER-UP: "Man’s shirt erupts in flames after he is shot by a taser" (Sun Sentinel)
SALES PLOY: Hiring pop singers to perform concerts to sell condos (NY Times)
PRETENTIOUS PITCHFORK ORGASM: They gave Liars’ new album a 9.0 and made up a new adjective in the process: "Berliniamsburg". (Pitchfork)
SHIRTLESS MYSPACE BRO: "UR NOT HERE BY ACCIDENT" – Indeed. (MySpace)
POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK: Trump calls Martha a "moron". (Daily News)
See how long you can look at this photo of socialite Nicky Hilton and androgynous clothing designer/party monster Richie Rich before your eyes simply refuse to stop working:
"What seeing a Captain & Tennille show on LSD would look like."
ALSO: What happened to the Richie Rich we all knew and loved?
Best Week Ever friends Rob Huebel, Paul Scheer and Aziz Ansari have combined forces and created an unholy comedy trinity called The Human Giant. Some are saying this might be the best giant since the Jolly Green one.
Check out their new site to see some of the funniest videos available on the World Wide Web (Information Superhighway).