Lindsay Lohan has recently sufferend yet another mishap in the series of unfortunate events that she calls her life – she lost her personal diary. LiLo and her handlers are terribly concerned that her deepest, most intimate secrets might somehow fall into the wrong hands and further tarnish the starlet’s spotty reputation.
Luckily, the journal fell into the right hands. Ours. See some of the juicier excerpts below!
After Issac’s inappropriate fondling of Scarlett Johansson, you’d think Lisa would cover up a bit more:
After toiling away in relative obscurity for the past few years, Bryan Adams has been thrust back into the spotlight this week after tabloid reports that he has hot young starlets hanging out and showering and falling down with tea pots at his house!
Bryan has also been making waves by performing in benefit concerts for underprivileged children.
Could Canada’s pop prince be having the Best Week Ever?
The Smashing Pumpkins were rumored to headline Coachella this year, but since they’re not, we’re going to share with you this classic clip of Billy Corgan’s appearance on ECW, nearly getting his pumpkin smashed for being a "devil worshiper" (wrestling fans don’t like devil worshippers).
It’s time to ask your parents for money again, indie rockers – the Coachella headliners have been announced! As usual, all your "totally legit inside source" rumors about possible headliners were unfounded. Instead, you get Depeche Mode and Tool. Deal with it.
For the full line-up, check the Coachella home page later today.
Check out this interesting theory about Brad Pitt’s seeming fondness for re-creating himself in the image of his lovers:
When not playing with his knob, showing off his nodding moves and doing strange tribal dances, K-Fed has been working hard on his parenting skillz. When Kevin recently took his infant son Preston in to get his ear pierced, big momma Britney apparently rushed to stop her brain-dead husband from blinging up the baby.
Britney reportedly complained that piercing Preston’s ear would seem "trashy" – and coming from her, it would be hard to get any trashier without being in a landfill. I guess Kevin’s dreams of turning his child into Vanilla Ice will have to wait another day.
Rick Moranis has recorded a country-western album. This is so many types of AWESOME that its level of AWESOMENESS is completely incalcuable. Even Stephen Hawking would be baffled by the prospect of explaining the comprehensive awesomeness of this news. He’d be all like, "I dunno, I give up – this is just simply so freaking AWESOME!"
If you’re already gearing up for Sunday’s Super Bowl Big and Tall, click on over to SPN.com for "more than complete mega-coverage" of "all the latest in sports – so your friends don’t think you’re queer".