Posts By Liz Black

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Rihanna’s Dream Role: Lesbian Assassin

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If her stint with Andy Samberg on “Saturday Night Live” last weekend was an indicator, Rihanna is a pretty good actress, and funnier than we expected. So when she opened up about pursuing acting recently, she had some pretty ambitious ideas about what roles she wants to play. “I’d love to be an assassin. Either that or a lesbian. Maybe both. Hey, a gay assassin, there’s nothing hotter than that. Megan Fox would play my girlfriend – hands down. She’s yummy. She’s hot.”

Something tells us she wouldn’t have to work very hard to pitch this movie in Hollywood. And everyone knows you’re Oscar-bait if you go full homicidal lesbian, just look at Charlize Theron. [Photo: GettyImages]

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Gisele Bundchen And Tom Brady’s Hot Baby Spawn Arrives

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When we saw the above photo we were confused – how is it that Gisele Bundchen could look so impeccable and so very tiny at eight months pregnant? Yes, she is eight months pregnant in that photo taken less than four weeks ago. Now we’re happy to report that she and her equally-hot hubby Tom Brady have welcomed their first child together. The baby was a boy, a detail that Brady found out in advance and had to keep from Gisele. No name has been revealed just yet, but we’re sure Gisele will be giving the kid flying lessons in no time.  [Photo: GettyImages]

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50 Cent Wants To Dream A Dream With Susan Boyle

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Here’s something those Apocalypse-loving Mayans probably never would have predicted: 50 Cent wants to work with Susan Boyle. “Susan Boyle is hot right now. I got to get her on a track, for real. We’d make a hit,” the rapper told 3am.co.uk. Fiddy (Fitty? Mr. Cent?) said, “Everyone is talking about her, the lady from ‘Britain’s Got Talent’. She’s got an amazing voice, and together we’d get everyone dancing.”

You know, even though we can’t see Susan (a.k.a. Fifty Pence) in da club this isn’t the most insane idea we’ve ever heard. Ever since Jay-Z sampled “Annie” and Tupac used a Bruce Hornsby track, we’ve had to open our minds and realize that anything is possible and we shouldn’t judge. Funny thing is, it’s almost like rappers are trying to appeal to our parents with this music (okay, okay, and us – we love show tunes and soft rock a lot more than we should). Susan, the ball is in your court – please say yes! [Photos: GettyImages]

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Taylor Swift’s Bodyguard Handles Her Prank Callers

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It’s kinda hard to believe someone as adorable, sweet and, uh, award-winning as Taylor Swift got bullied in school, but it’s true. Swift admittedly was on the receiving end of some schoolyard torment back in the day, and now that she’s famous, the same bullies that harassed her have been calling her cell phone and bugging her. We bet they probably just want to hang out with her, but Taylor isn’t having it.

When one former classmate called and asked for her, Taylor gave him a taste of his own medicine and them some. “He calls up my phone and he’s like, ‘Is Taylor there?’ and I just handed it to my bodyguard and I was like, ‘John, give him a talking to’. So he’s like, ‘Yo, you don’t ever call this number ever again. I put my fist through your face.’”

Justice served, Swift-style!  “It was really great, it was effective,” Swift said, probably adding a gleeful “Mwaaahahaha!” after. Clearly it pays to have a bodyguard. [Photo: GettyImages]

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Beyoncé Goes All Out For Jay-Z’s 40th

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What did we do this past weekend, you ask? We won’t even bother with an answer because everything pales in comparison to what Jay-Z and Beyoncé did last weekend. See, the diva threw a roaring 20′s-themed birthday party in honor of her husband’s 40th and packed it full of celebrity guests (like, the guest-list is so full of A-list talent it’s hard to imagine they’re friends with any non-celebs).

Did we mention that the party was in the Dominican Republic? Sixty guests, including Alex Rodriguez and Kate Hudson, P. Diddy and his girlfriend Kim Porter, Kanye West and Amber Rose flew down to attend, as did Alicia Keys, who ended up singing a last-minute rendition of “Empire State of Mind” with the birthday boy during the festivities. There were also fireworks and synchronized swimmers. Sure beats the drunk karaoke we always end up doing for our friends’ parties.  [Photo: GettyImages]

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Hulk Hogan Engaged, Brother!

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After Hulk Hogan divorced his wife Linda after 24 years of marriage in 2007, there was clearly a blonde-haired, boob-shaped hole in his heart. Luckily, he found an exact fit in his girlfriend of two years, Jennifer McDaniel. Actually, McDaniel could easily fit into a Brooke Hogan shaped hole too, as you can see. He sure has a type, that guy! Does he even know any brunettes now that Andre the Giant has gone to to that big wrestling ring in the sky?

The Hulkster, whose real name is Terry Bollea, was spotted by TMZ walking through LAX last week with McDaniel when he pointed to an enormous ring on McDaniel’s finger and said “Check that left hand out. That could be the new Mrs. Hogan.” A source has since confirmed the engagement.  [Photo: GettyImages]

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Lindsay Bares Her Butt (And More) For Muse Photo Shoot

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Lindsay Lohan is sick of channeling Marilyn Monroe for photo shoots, so she’s moved on to a more modern inspiration: Kate Moss. In a new spread for Milan-based Muse magazine, LiLo gets 90′s-flavored grungy as she and model Petey Wright assume the roles of Moss and ex-boyfriend Johnny Depp, and it’s chock full of sex and bare-asses.

The photographer of the piece, Yu Tsai, proposed the concept to Lindsay who eagerly accepted and got pretty into the sexy menage-a-trois theme. “When you see her nipple, it just happened in the moment,” Tsai says of the tasteful boobage. “She was playing the role of Kate Moss — you’re at a party and you are with a guy you really love and another girl. She is stunning and radiates in the pictures. Lindsay is incredibly focused where it comes to her career and fashion is her passion. It’s raw, it’s exposed, this is her at her best. She told me: ‘I want to make this iconic.’”

Lindsay might like being Kate Moss for a day but personally we think she should use the pics for another purpose. With this being the holiday season she could easily pull an Elaine from “Seinfeld” – everyone loves a nip-slip Christmas card.  [NYPost]

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Chris Brown: “How Could I Be That Person?”

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Chris Brown gave yet another interview this weekend, this time to ABC’s Robin Roberts on “20/20.” In addition to his countless apologies and his version of what happened the night he attacked Rihanna, he also claimed he wrote a song for her which made her cry.

First, Brown admitted that he was heavily coached by PR people when he released his YouTube apology to the world, saying, “They just telling me like, ‘OK, don’t say this. And don’t say it this way, ’cause they’re gonna take it this way. So, I had in my — my head wasn’t really giving me a chance to be me. It was just being myself through other people. … It was genuinely from me, but it wasn’t projected genuinely.” We can understand that – although the one thing we’ll never understand in all of this is that bow tie he wore on “Larry King.” But ANYway.

Brown also said that he apologized to Rihanna many, many times, which we’ve been hearing for months now, but he also said he wrote the song “Changed Man” for her (coincidentally off his new album which releases tomorrow).  A month after the incident, Brown played the song for Rihanna and says, “She called when she first heard the song. And I mean, I’m not trying to say — call her any liar or anything like that. But I played the song for her when I first wrote it. And she cried.”

We’re not entirely sure why we would think he was calling her a liar in this situation, but just so you know, world, convicted abuser Chris Brown doesn’t think Rihanna is a liar. Brown discusses his anger management classes and the fact that he never had any altercations with previous girlfriends, etc. etc etc. At this point it feels repetitive and while we’re almost starting to pity him, we wish these PR-heavy, face-saving interviews would go away. [Photo: GettyImages]

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Russell Brand Wants To Knock Up Katy Perry

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Russell Brand and Katy Perry first hooked up at the VMAs in September of this year, but for some reason it seems like they’ve been together a lot longer. Russell has already met Katy’s parents and the two are rarely apart, and now Brand is even talking about having babies with his girl-kissing girlfriend. The Brit was recently interviewed by GMTV in the UK and, if he’s not joking around, he actually sounds kinda adorable talking about Katy.

“It was a deep craving within me – I mistook it for lust,” he said of his reputation. “I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough – to get the right one. I’m ever so happy,” he says of his search to find the perfect mate.

Marriage doesn’t seem to be the next step on his agenda,  but he is considering taking the relationship to another level. “I don’t know, get married, you say? That would be good, isn’t it? I want to have children – that would be good.” Can we look forward to a few little crazy-haired rugrats running around? And can we take bets on their potential baby names? Because we feel like they might try to be a little crazy. Er, we mean creative.  [Photo: GettyImages]

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Carrie Underwood Still Votes For Idol

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“American Idol” has a history of picking the most likable, friendly and perky contestants as its winners (flashback: Kris Allen and his wife own matching aprons). Go ahead, we dare you to pick a winner that’s done something objectionable. As further proof to our theory, in a recent interview season four winner Carrie Underwood gushed about her love for the show, saying, “I will always have the biggest love for the show as a participant and as a fan.”

She also admitted that she, like the rest of America, still votes for her favorite singers. “It’s so crazy for me to watch and think I was on it,” Underwood said in a conference call with press. “I love the people working on it and I love to go back and talk to the contestants. I vote too, just like everybody else! It’s great being able to see both sides.”

Underwood’s humility and down-to-earth attitude is pretty cool, especially considering she just became Idol’s the biggest-selling winner, surpassing Kelly Clarkson this week with over 10.5 million albums sold.  [Photo: GettyImages]