Posts By BobCastrone

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Saying Goodbye to The Best Job Ever

cruel world.jpgFor those of you who missed my spoiler alert in last week’s Ode to Zach Braff post, it may come as a surprise to learn that today is my last day working at Best Week Ever.tv. I’ll give you a moment to collect yourselves. [2, maybe 3 seconds pass. at the most]

Better? Good. I’ve had a great time writing on this site and it’s not easy moving on. I’m going to miss telling people that I write jokes about Britney Spears’ vagina for a living, I’m going to miss watching celebrity sex tapes at work and I’m going to miss getting advanced copies of CD’s like Kevin Federline’s Playing With Fire and Paris Hiltons’ Paris. Actually… maybe I won’t miss that.

I can’t leave without thanking you guys; the readers. Yeah, I know it’s cliche, but whatever. Deal with it. Thanks for calling me out on my b.s., diasagreeing with me when I knew I was right, and pointing out every grammatical error and typo when I was blogging hungover. You made me a better person. Okay, that’s a lie. You made me a better blogger. That’s better.

Anyway, I’m not going too far. If you ever find yourself thinking, “Hey, I wonder whatever happened to that Bob guy who constantly posted about Lindsay Lohan’s firecrotch” you can head over here and check out The Post Show, or just add us on MySpace where we can be friends forever. Or can drop by Hyde, walk over to the VIP section and find me hanging out with Brandon Davis and his fat brother. In fact, just do that. It’d be a better story.

Okay- I littered the requisite amount of celebrity names into my goodbye post to ensure that it’s Best Week Ever-y enough. Done and done. On that note, I’m out of here. Be nice to Michelle and Alex. Actually, scratch that- just be nice to Michelle. Rock on.

-Bob

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CAPTION THIS! Federlinin’ Them Up

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Post-Britney, Kevin Federline is still seeking a nice, big, ridiculously fake bosom to cry on.

For more K-Fed, head over to TMZ. Then leave your captions in the comments.

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SHOCKING! Chuck Woolery’s Anti-Gay Rage!!!!

This just in: Chuck Woolery, host of Love Connection and approximately 87% of the other game shows that air on The Game Show Network, is a tremendous homophobe. Just watch this video of Chuck casually throwing around the word “Faggot” like it’s okay or something. Truly, truly sickening stuff.

Shocking! Offensive! Disgusting! Crucify this man immediately!!!

Oh… wait a second. I just watched it again. The guy’s name is Fagot. Ohhh. Eh, doesn’t matter, let’s pretend that we’re all still outraged. People have lost their jobs for less.

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VIDEO HITS ONE: Gwen at 4 In The Morning

Gwen Stefani has finally figured out how to make the video we all* want to see: simply roll around in bed, take a bath, and look hot for 4 1/2 minutes. No Asian sidekicks, no Mad Hatter costume, no yodeling; just bed, bath and beyond. Works for me.

*by “we all” I simply mean “me”.

Vid via Stereogum

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While You Were Reading My Last ‘While You Were’s’ Ever

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  • A Swedish couple has been granted permission to name thier child “Metallica”. It’s all part of their master plan to ensure their daughter doesn’t kiss a guy until she’s 30.
  • Erik Estrada has received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It’s about time his work on Armed & Famous was recognized.
  • Justin Timberlake and Jessica Alba top a new list of sexiest celebrities. And coincidentally, the new list tops the list of obvious lists.
  • Madonna announced that she won’t be adopting any more children. Bitch is straight up kidnapping them now.
  • Heather Mills annoyed fellow passengers on a flight to Britain when she decided to dance down the aisle. Though they were probably just freaked out by the fake-leg thing. That’s all.

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I LIKE TO WATCH: On Weed

Brace yourself, people- it’s an all new “I Like To Watch” for the weekend of 4/20. Try not to read into the fact that this week’s podcast focuses on Smokin’ Aces, Evil Bong and Harsh Times– it’s a total coincidence that those titles are stoner-friendly. Yep. A total coincidence. Check it out now, maaaaaan.

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CAPTION THIS! Lick The Cheerleader

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When I heard there was a picture of the cheerleader from “Heroes” licking Stanley’s Cup, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. Or what I was hoping for…

For more pictures of Hayden Panttierre licking things, click here. Then leave your own creepy captions in the comments.

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TRAILER MIX: Hairspray

John Travolta in a dress. Michelle Pfeiffer looking hot. A big chick who looks kind of like Ricki Lake acting kind of like Ricki Lake. It’s the brand new Hairspray and it’s going to be huge! Or a complete disaster. It’s hard to tell…

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While You Were Deciding Who To Vote For Now

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  • It’s finally over– Sanjaya was voted off American Idol last night. In a related story, I now no longer care what happens on American Idol. Who’s with me?
  • Lindsay Lohan thinks is weird she went to rehab because she’s not an addict. I guess she skipped right over that “admit you have a problem” step.
  • Larry Birkhead has confirmed that he’s renamed baby Dannielynn. She’ll now simply go by “Cha-Ching!”
  • The divorce of Liza Minnelli and David Gest will be finalized this week. And you know what that means- Liza’s back on the market, fellas! Party time!
  • Simon Cowell is the 700th richest person in Britain. This, of course, comes to no surprise to people who know that the British measure their wealth in tight black shirts.

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TIVO ALERT: Paul Scheer Does Dave

paulscheer1.jpgWhat do Paul Scheer, Edie Falco and Son Volt have in common? TONS! For starters, they’ll all be appearing on The Late Show with David Letterman tonight. Beyond that… um… huh. Okay, I guess that’s it. But that’s more than enough.

Make sure you set your TIVO’s or VCR’s (remember those?). I’m sure Paul will find a way to talk about Human Giant, Best Week Ever, his recent obsession with the movie Firehouse Dog and God knows what else. Don’t miss it.