For those of you who missed my spoiler alert in last week’s Ode to Zach Braff post, it may come as a surprise to learn that today is my last day working at Best Week Ever.tv. I’ll give you a moment to collect yourselves. [2, maybe 3 seconds pass. at the most]
Better? Good. I’ve had a great time writing on this site and it’s not easy moving on. I’m going to miss telling people that I write jokes about Britney Spears’ vagina for a living, I’m going to miss watching celebrity sex tapes at work and I’m going to miss getting advanced copies of CD’s like Kevin Federline’s Playing With Fire and Paris Hiltons’ Paris. Actually… maybe I won’t miss that.
I can’t leave without thanking you guys; the readers. Yeah, I know it’s cliche, but whatever. Deal with it. Thanks for calling me out on my b.s., diasagreeing with me when I knew I was right, and pointing out every grammatical error and typo when I was blogging hungover. You made me a better person. Okay, that’s a lie. You made me a better blogger. That’s better.
Anyway, I’m not going too far. If you ever find yourself thinking, “Hey, I wonder whatever happened to that Bob guy who constantly posted about Lindsay Lohan’s firecrotch” you can head over here and check out The Post Show, or just add us on MySpace where we can be friends forever. Or can drop by Hyde, walk over to the VIP section and find me hanging out with Brandon Davis and his fat brother. In fact, just do that. It’d be a better story.
Okay- I littered the requisite amount of celebrity names into my goodbye post to ensure that it’s Best Week Ever-y enough. Done and done. On that note, I’m out of here. Be nice to Michelle and Alex. Actually, scratch that- just be nice to Michelle. Rock on.
Post-Britney, Kevin Federline is still seeking a nice, big, ridiculously fake bosom to cry on.
For more K-Fed, head over to TMZ. Then leave your captions in the comments.
This just in: Chuck Woolery, host of Love Connection and approximately 87% of the other game shows that air on The Game Show Network, is a tremendous homophobe. Just watch this video of Chuck casually throwing around the word “Faggot” like it’s okay or something. Truly, truly sickening stuff.
Shocking! Offensive! Disgusting! Crucify this man immediately!!!
Oh… wait a second. I just watched it again. The guy’s name is Fagot. Ohhh. Eh, doesn’t matter, let’s pretend that we’re all still outraged. People have lost their jobs for less.
Gwen Stefani has finally figured out how to make the video we all* want to see: simply roll around in bed, take a bath, and look hot for 4 1/2 minutes. No Asian sidekicks, no Mad Hatter costume, no yodeling; just bed, bath and beyond. Works for me.
*by “we all” I simply mean “me”.
Vid via Stereogum
Brace yourself, people- it’s an all new “I Like To Watch” for the weekend of 4/20. Try not to read into the fact that this week’s podcast focuses on Smokin’ Aces, Evil Bong and Harsh Times– it’s a total coincidence that those titles are stoner-friendly. Yep. A total coincidence. Check it out now, maaaaaan.
When I heard there was a picture of the cheerleader from “Heroes” licking Stanley’s Cup, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. Or what I was hoping for…
For more pictures of Hayden Panttierre licking things, click here. Then leave your own creepy captions in the comments.
John Travolta in a dress. Michelle Pfeiffer looking hot. A big chick who looks kind of like Ricki Lake acting kind of like Ricki Lake. It’s the brand new Hairspray and it’s going to be huge! Or a complete disaster. It’s hard to tell…
What do Paul Scheer, Edie Falco and Son Volt have in common? TONS! For starters, they’ll all be appearing on The Late Show with David Letterman tonight. Beyond that… um… huh. Okay, I guess that’s it. But that’s more than enough.
Make sure you set your TIVO’s or VCR’s (remember those?). I’m sure Paul will find a way to talk about Human Giant, Best Week Ever, his recent obsession with the movie Firehouse Dog and God knows what else. Don’t miss it.