I’m well aware that writing a post about rockers The Hold Steady recording a Minnesota-centric version of “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” might fall on deaf ears since I don’t think many of our readers care about The Hold Steady, Minnesota or baseball… but you know what, I’m not going to let that stop me.
Today Stereogum mentioned that Craig Finn of The Hold Steady (who I’ve always thought kind of looks a little like Scotty Stereogum) was asked to record a special version of “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” for the Minnesota Twins. Judging by Craig’s quote, this was right up their alley: “I mean, the Hold Steady, we’re all sort of sports guys. We’re more likely to be drinking beer and eating wings and watching baseball rather than collecting some obscure 7-inch.”
So since baseball season kicked off this week, The Hold Steady rock and Minnesota isn’t too bad (or so I’ve heard), you should Click here right now to get the mp3. You have to. It’s “Take Me Out To The Ballgame.” It’s practically our national anthem. Do it for America.
Big boobs, gap teeth and one leg– no, I’m not describing my ideal woman (that’s one leg too many, if you ask me), I’m talking about the most uneven star (literally) on Dancing With The Stars, Heather Mills. Some people love her, some hate her, and others just want to make a flash cartoon game featuring various ways different fake legs could kill her. Behold Heather Mills’ Dancing With The Stars Torture Chamber, dropped by Liquid Generation. It’s one part Dancing With The Stars, one part Saw, and one part Grindhouse. I think you’ll be able to guess which part the Grindhouse part is. Check it out if you like dancing with the stars and/or torturing the stars. Either way.
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Being on TV must be hard. You have to be quick and think on your feet. Being a judge must be hard. You have to be quick and think on your feet. Being a judge on TV must be… yeah. I guess sometimes you need to make like Judge Mathis and just take a moment to collect your thoughts. Mid-sentence, if need be…
Little Andy Keaton (Brian Bonsall to his friends and real family) was arrested in Boulder, Colorado for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend. Dad is going to be SO PISSED (yet somehow still be able to sit him down and help Andy work through his problems by offering sound and reasonable advice with a sprinkle of humor that makes you feel good inside).
According to TMZ.com,
“Bonsall, now 25, was arrested Wednesday after his girlfriend reportedly told police he poured an alcoholic drink on her face while she slept, put her in a choke hold and threw her onto a bed when she tried to leave. Both Bonsall and his girlfriend were arrested at the scene, however, she was later released.”
Well, at least Tina Yothers can sleep easy tonight knowing that she’s no longer the black sheep of the family. Read the rest of the story here. Then, in case you were wondering why I spent 15 minutes on MS Paint adding a hand and the Family Ties logo to Brian’s mugshot, click here.
I know Google is the cool! and hip! search engine, but it’s still surprising when they do something genuinely funny. Like this April Fools Day prank (I think…) about their new wireless broadband system that works through your toilet.
Google TiSP (BETA) is a fully functional, end-to-end system that provides in-home wireless access by connecting your commode-based TiSP wireless router to one of thousands of TiSP Access Nodes via fiber-optic cable strung through your local municipal sewage lines.
You know, instead of joking about wireless toilets, Google should step up and make it a reality. What are they waiting for? The “doo-dle” jokes will write themselves!
The super-hyped “hair match” between Donald Trump and WWE head Vince McMahon took place last night, and sadly, there were no winners. Oh, Trump technically “won,” but that meant he didn’t have to shave his head. Damn… so close. But anyway, apparently there was a bright side. According to the Boston Herald, shortly after the Abu Ghraib-y forced haircut “Stone Cold” Steve Austin gave Trump a Stone Cold Stunner- so I guess we can all find peace knowing that at least some good came out of the whole thing.
UPDATE: The video was pulled already. Damn WWE. The nerve of them to pull a video from YouTube. Who would do such a thing?
Mary-Lynn Rajskub– 24’s Chloe O’Brien to you and me– has shed her CTU gear to sexy-it-up in Geek Monthy magazine. Edgar Stiles must be rolling over in his grave.
As a huge 24 fan and lifelong heterosexual, these pictures are probably the best thing to happen to me all week. Sad, I know, but it isn’t every day a woman that you secretly suspect is hot loses two layers of work clothes and parades around in a leather halter top brandishing guns. Well, it isn’t every day for me (if it is for you, I’m incredibly envious. Are you hiring?)
Click here for more Chloe pics. Then, if you think you can handle it, reacquaint yourself with last week’s Pam pics. March has definitely been the month of Geeky TV Girls– I’m dreading April already.
Ann Coulter toilet paper: Use liberally.
Your turn. Leave your captions in the comments now! (pic via Jossip)
A couple of weeks ago some I Heart Huckabees outtakes leaked onto the web that showcased director David O’Russell losing his mind and screaming at Lily Tomlin. We don’t advise that you click the link and watch the original video- instead, check out the Paul Rudd / Michael Showalter re-enactment. It’s much more entertaining. Though I’m not sure who leaked it… probably Clooney. (Language totally NSFW)