Posts By Michelle COLLINS


Oh, The Places This Polar Bear Paw Will Go!

Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to visit your best Polar Bear friend in jail? Well, we wonder about it every day. There he’d be, crushed, spirits broken, head hung low behind the glass, feeling guilt for what he’d done, or confusion over a bear crime he never even committed. And what can you do? Other than coo into the little telephone to nowhere, cry, and of course…

Put your hand on the glass, to be as close to his giant murder paw as possible.

Well do we have great news for you. You can now recreate this very moment in the privacy of your own cubicle. How? It’s simple!

Pick up your work phone. Now start fake sobbing. And then? Put your hand on your computer monitor, directly over this:


Pretend the warmth of your electronic monitor is actually just the hungry flesh-eating blood of man’s most adorable enemy.

This paw belongs to Wilbaer, the youngest polar bear at the Stuttgart’s Zoo. He’s not even a year old! But by the looks of it, he’s already committed many an unspeakable crime… (bear face ahead.)

Read more…


How Many Crazy Poses Can Jack Black Make at One Awards Show?

It’s the game you’ve all been waiting for: How Many Crazy Poses Can Jack Black Make at One Awards Show? Black hosted Spike TV’s 2008 Video Game Awards last night, and in true Blackish fashion, managed to strike an unusually high amount of crazy poses throughout the evening. Will he beat the previous record of crazy Jack Black poses at the Kung Fu Panda premiere? Let’s get this countdown started:

Jack Black Video Games 3.JPG

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Jack Black Video Games 10.JPG

The extremely high energy and exhaustive countdown continues ahead.

Read more…



INTERN PIC.jpgDear College Applicant:

Did you ever want to work in an environment of entertainers and writers who love to laugh but also like to get some work done every now and again? Did we mention you would do this work for next to no money? (Read: No money.) Well NOW IS YOUR CHANCE!, your faithful blog, is seeking interns for Spring of 2009. Yes, we need your help. And believe it or not… we have some rules!

  • You must receive college credit
  • You must be able to come in two full days a week (we are located in NYC)
  • And you must participate in the program (program of fun!) for 10 weeks

We’re seeking hard-working students who love pop culture, comedy, television, Photoshop, and who are willing to work really hard for a daily gentle pat on the back. In addition to editorial interns, we also seek interns for digital video production.

If you are interested (and trust me, you are), please e-mail a cover letter and resume to

We look forward to hearing from you!

Your truly,
Mz. Collins
(as I prefer to be professionally addressed.)


Is David Cook Having the Best Year Ever?

BYE DAVID COKO.jpgTonight, Best Year Ever with Paul F. Tompkins premieres on Vh1 at 9 PM.

But what makes a year the “Best”, per se? Hard to tell. But one thing we CAN all agree on is that the year would have been a heck of a lot worse without the best television show of the new millennium: AMERICAN IDOL. And, more specifically, DAVID COOK.

So what good fortune that the following EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW of tonight’s hour-long special happens to feature both! Yes, David Cook stopped by the BWE studios to tell you why he, David Cook, should be voted as having the Best Year Ever! Listen to his plea, and watch tonight to see if it worked…

Will David Cook win? Or will it be the other hottie of 08: Cloris Leachman? Find out tonight at 9!


An Open Letter to Jennifer Aniston: Shut the F**k Up Already

JEN AN OPEN LETTER2.jpgDear Jennifer Aniston,

Years ago, in an America far, far away, you were our reigning Queen of Must See TV. Week in, week out, your portrayal of uptight retail buyer Rachel Green brought a smattering of happiness into our lives, as did your signature hairstyle. And while publicly we all rolled our eyes as to the obviousness of your ongoing on-and-off romance with your simian best friend Ross, privately, we all basked in the warmth of your glow. Even at $1 million per episode, you were worth it.

Then, in 2004, the cast of Friends decided they would be better off on the big screen. And so you went on to make a string of films that even your follicles couldn’t save: Derailed, Rumor Has It…, The Break-Up (which, to be fair, made good bank, but just sucked). And we thought that perhaps that would be the last of you.

And you’ve proved us wrong! Your failed marriage with Brad Pitt was splashed across the headlines after he left you for Angelina Jolie in 2005. We felt bad at the time… Really! We just wanted you to have babies and live your life and be happy.

But lately, we’re starting to maybe understand what drove you and Brad Pitt apart. And that would be this: Woman, you just don’t know what to shut your damn mouth.

In the past couple of months, it seems that every magazine cover and gossip column and trashy blog (THROAT CLEAR) is talking about you. Every day! Whether you’re constantly dishing about your new boy toy John Mayer, or talking to the press about how “over” Brad and Ange you are (hint: please get a therapist and keep me out of it), or posing naked on NUMEROUS magazine covers… it just reeks of desperation.

Read more…


BREAKING: Enrique Iglesias Might Be Undercover Deaf Man

Get the kids out of the room and lock the door, because the following sentence (and video) are for your eyes and ears only. Sometimes, famous singers actually lip sync on live television. No, I know: You’re crushed. I was too. I. was. too.

Well prepare to be even MORE crushed. That’s because Enrique Iglesias, son of Julio and he of the invisipeen, was tricked into actually singing on live television when the microphone was accidentally left on. And, as the video will prove, it’s become quite clear now that Enrique Iglesias is deaf. For real. We wish he would be brave enough and just admit to the world that he has lost the ability to hear. Perhaps he could inspire thousands of secretly deaf folks to shed their insecurities and just be the non-hearing people they really are.

Oh, and if you think the beginning of this video is bad… give it the entire minute to get a real idea of just how deaf he is.

Enrique Iglesias Cant Sing – Watch more Entertainment




This week, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences inducted one of the above FIERCE AS HALE women into their esteemed Hall of Fame. But rather than just TELL you who it was, we decided to turn this into a little game, a little fight to God’s pearly finish line, and ask you who you think deserves it more.

Hence, the following question (words we’ve always wanted to type):

Bea Arthur vs. Angela Lansbury. Who Ya Got?!


Find out who the lucky inductee is ahead.

Read more…


BEST YEAR EVER Presents: Al Reynolds’ Sexy, Sexy, Sexy Ladies of 2008

BYE WITH PFT.jpgBefore we get to this amazing video, please read: Best Year Ever with Paul F. Tompkins premieres TONIGHT at 9 PM! This hour long special covers all of the highlights (and not a single lowlight) from 2008’s top entertainment, pop culture and news stories, and features a slew of celebrity cameos. If this glowing NY Post review is any indication (4 stars!), you will want to cancel all plans tonight, shred some Xanax on the kids’ SpeghettiOs, lock the dogs in the garage, throw your cell phones in the toilet, sit back, and just laugh for once, why don’t you?

This morning, we bring you an absolutely delicious sneak peak starring Star Jones’ former lover and current elegant man about town Al Reynolds, who sits down in the most expensive chair our office can afford and tells us about Al Reynolds’ Sexy, Sexy, Sexy Ladies of 2008. You know… we finally understand what Star saw in this guy.

Ladies, this might be NSFW, unless you work at a hose factory. Or an Ice Cold Shower plant. In which case, crank it up!

See this fabulous clip and more tonight, VH1, 9 PM: BEST YEAR EVER!




“Yes, yes, yes, fabulous job today ladies. What a performance! You must be absolutely knackered. You know… you there… in the ermine hat. You remind me of someone! I can’t quite put my finger on it. What did you say your name was, darling? Hortensia? Mmmnnno, I don’t have any recollection of our meeting, and yet… (pause) I’m sorry, I do believe I was just lost in your eyes. They’re so… familiar. But from where? From… how?”

“Oh wait… just a moment. (laughing) Are you Hortensia, Great Granddaughter of William Lamb the 2nd Viscount of Melbourne? That’s it! We’re cousins, my dear! Isn’t that splendid?? Related! You know what gave it away? You look exactly like every single woman I’m related to. And dare I say… (whispered) you are quite breathtaking.”

“Well, I must be going. If Camilla sees me talking to you gorgeous lot she might fly off the handle, as she is so prone to do. Not a very charming woman, is she? Mmmyes, well. See you at the family picnic in June. And try to wear something equally as charming, yes? I might be taken with you yet, my dear cousin.”

(cue constipation like noises) “Mmmmmmyeeeeswellllllguuuuuhdbbhaiiiiiye.”

Prince Charles meets performers backstage at the annual Royal Variety Performance.