Posts By Michelle COLLINS


2008: The Year In Movies (in 8 Words or Less)

Was 2008 the Best Year Ever? For one year olds and under, definitely. But for the film industry, it’s been a up-and-down rollercoaster of record-breaking smash hits and surprising flops. Resident BWE movie reviewer Doug Benson has taken the time to bring us his scathing and sometimes inspiring “8 Second Reviews” for some of the years most talked about flicks: High School Musical 3, Quantum of Solace, Wall-E, and The Dark Knight. And who doesn’t have 32 seconds to spare for Doug Benson? I definitely do.

Agree or disagree? And don’t forget: If you missed Best Year Ever last week, it will reair on VH1 for the rest of the month! Tonight at 11 PM for example! And tomorrow at 4! Check your local listings.


“I’m Dreaming Of A Green Christmas” Is One-Way Ticket to Ruined Christmasville

If there is one thing we hate, it’s sh*tty white rap/Panic at the Disco-esque choruses. If there are two things we hate, it’s people who manage to turn every. single. issue. into something relating to the environment. But man oh man, if there are THREE THINGS WE HATE, it’s people who combine the previously mentioned two things we hate into an animated short video that pretty much ruins Christmas.

Let’s face it: The holidays this year are pretty much ruined as it is, thanks to the state of our economy. So what’s the last thing children want to watch after they’ve opened up a wrapped box of oatmeal left under the tree? An animated short telling them that if they don’t start caring about the environment, Santa will have to SURF his way out of the North Pole.


Don’t let the pool of jellybeans still fool you: Watching this video might very well ruin Christmas… and your love for God’s green earth.

Seriously, if I ever got an Inconvenient Truth DVD for Christmas, I would fly to the Arctic and slap a polar bear in the face. AND I LOVE POLAR BEARS, PEOPLE.


10 Suggested Hairstyles for Mad Men‘s Jon Hamm

JON HAMM NORMAL2.jpgIf most women were forced to rank the “Top 3 Things We Would Like To Run Our Hands Through”, surely “Jon Hamm’s Hair” would fall somewhere in between “George Clooney‘s Ass Cheeks” and “Piles of Unmarked Bills.” So would you believe it? Turns out Jon Hamm hates his hairand calls it the “bane of his existence”:

Jon Hamm has a confession to make: He hates his hair.

That may come as a surprise to fans of the actor, whose slick-backed hair is part of his signature look on “Mad Men“…

In the new movie “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” Hamm sports a slightly different ‘do, with his bangs combed rakishly over one eye. It was in the context of promoting the sci-fi remake that Hamm revealed his tonsorial frustration. (Ed. Note: Looks like someone’s retaking their SATs…)

“It’s the bane of my existence. Goofy hair,” he said in a self-deprecating interview with CNN. “It never looks good … It’s a pain.

Listen, Jon Hamm — we LOVE your hair. It’s part of what makes Don Draper Don MOTHERF*CKING Draper. However, we also want you to be happy. Which is why we’d like to offer you these 10 other possible hairstyles that might make you a little more comfortable.

We begin with something simple: Our canvas, if you will… “The Bald”. Readers, feel free to grab a copy, photoshop your own suggested ‘do onto it, and link to it in our comments section. Let’s get started:


9 More Looks Ahead! Including Union Soldier, David Beckham, Leather Daddy and a certain tonsorially challenged Illinois Guv. And leave us your photoshops in the comments section.

Read more…


Tom Cruise on Today in 60 Seconds

It was almost three and a half years ago that Tom Cruise made his infamously glib appearance on The Today Show, sparring with the permanently handsome co-host Matt Lauer over things like psychiatry and Ritalin. (For a brief reminder of that historic event, please check out this transcript replete with appropriate photographs of Tom, Matt, and yawning dogs.)

Today, Matt braved yet another live meeting with Cruise, there to promote his new film Valkyrie. And while Cruise was certainly more subdued than 3 and a half years ago, he still had a mischievous sparkle in his charming crazy-eyed stare.

We bring you that interview… in 60 Seconds.

Say what you will about the man, but he looked DAMN GOOD this morning. He also has super sperm that makes the best looking Chinese children we’ve ever laid epicanthic eyes on.

Now is the time we’ll remind you of Dan Hopper’s latest essay on language, to “Cruise-ify.” Consider this blog “fans.”


Oh, The Places This Polar Bear Paw Will Go!

Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to visit your best Polar Bear friend in jail? Well, we wonder about it every day. There he’d be, crushed, spirits broken, head hung low behind the glass, feeling guilt for what he’d done, or confusion over a bear crime he never even committed. And what can you do? Other than coo into the little telephone to nowhere, cry, and of course…

Put your hand on the glass, to be as close to his giant murder paw as possible.

Well do we have great news for you. You can now recreate this very moment in the privacy of your own cubicle. How? It’s simple!

Pick up your work phone. Now start fake sobbing. And then? Put your hand on your computer monitor, directly over this:


Pretend the warmth of your electronic monitor is actually just the hungry flesh-eating blood of man’s most adorable enemy.

This paw belongs to Wilbaer, the youngest polar bear at the Stuttgart’s Zoo. He’s not even a year old! But by the looks of it, he’s already committed many an unspeakable crime… (bear face ahead.)

Read more…


How Many Crazy Poses Can Jack Black Make at One Awards Show?

It’s the game you’ve all been waiting for: How Many Crazy Poses Can Jack Black Make at One Awards Show? Black hosted Spike TV’s 2008 Video Game Awards last night, and in true Blackish fashion, managed to strike an unusually high amount of crazy poses throughout the evening. Will he beat the previous record of crazy Jack Black poses at the Kung Fu Panda premiere? Let’s get this countdown started:

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The extremely high energy and exhaustive countdown continues ahead.

Read more…



INTERN PIC.jpgDear College Applicant:

Did you ever want to work in an environment of entertainers and writers who love to laugh but also like to get some work done every now and again? Did we mention you would do this work for next to no money? (Read: No money.) Well NOW IS YOUR CHANCE!, your faithful blog, is seeking interns for Spring of 2009. Yes, we need your help. And believe it or not… we have some rules!

  • You must receive college credit
  • You must be able to come in two full days a week (we are located in NYC)
  • And you must participate in the program (program of fun!) for 10 weeks

We’re seeking hard-working students who love pop culture, comedy, television, Photoshop, and who are willing to work really hard for a daily gentle pat on the back. In addition to editorial interns, we also seek interns for digital video production.

If you are interested (and trust me, you are), please e-mail a cover letter and resume to

We look forward to hearing from you!

Your truly,
Mz. Collins
(as I prefer to be professionally addressed.)