How close is our society to being overtaken by tiny macaque monkeys? Well, if these jetskiing simians are any indication… too close.
THIS MONKEY KNOWS HOW TO DRIVE A BOAT. — Brian Fellows (probably)
ps Speed 2: Cruise Control with monkeys = adorable.
Yes. Always having the time of his life, this one. If they ever make a Bollywood version of I Love You To Death, hire this man, because he’s a real life Joey Boca. “Camman everybodyyyyy… Monopolyyyy.”
Country singer Billy Ray Cyrus showed up at the UK premiere of ‘Hannah Montana: The Movie’ with a new lady on his arm. And check out that chemistry!
Can you guess who his new lady love is? Answer ahead:
This week, American Idol was a salty little bitch, eliminating two contestants from the Top 7 during, of all things, Disco Week. Matt Giraud‘s punk ass was saved, and instead, we wished a teary-eyed farewell to Lil Rounds and Anoop Desai (who sang better in his farewell song than he has all season.)
During each week’s Elimination Episodes, the Idol stage welcomes some of the world’s most famous entertainers to show the contestants what it takes to become a successful recording artist. Only, it kind of felt like we as a collective nation hopped into a time machine and fast forwarded to eons from now, when singers stop being polite and start being real… real old.
Things start out ok enough, as Freda Payne comes out onto the stage (in better shape at 66 than I’ll ever be), and caws her way through the song “Band of Gold”. But before you can say “who is this fine, old woman?”, Mizz Thelma Houston rolls out into the homes of millions wearing the skinned remains of Big Bird, and thrusting her hips out so many times I was sure a 7 year old was going to fall out of her V. But nothing — NOTHING — could top the big Finale… KC of KC AND THE SUNSHINE BAND, who now looks like an extra cast on a v. special child molestation episode of Law & Order SUV. Also, he may have lost his voice in a chicken wing eating related accident, as he just sort of stood there in a hot sweat, hoping not to make eye contact with Simon.
In the immortal words of the internet: FAIL:
Between the opening dance sequence and David Archuleta, this had to be the most wasted hour of Primetime Television since the Reba Series Finale.
A few days ago, a heated argument took place at BWE.tv headquarters (Arby’s). My coworker insisted that an episode existed where Steve Urkel crash landed into the backyard of The Full House set wearing a jet pack. I insisted that in no way, shape, or form could such a golden unicorn egg of delights possibly exist. Well, after hours of Google searches and tears of laughter, we discovered we were both wrong. (The answer awaits you ahead.) It was because of this fight, however, that we uncovered a treasure trove of nearly unbelievable clips featuring characters from one sitcom visiting the set of an entirely different sitcom. Some of you might call it “synergy”; we call it “magical”.
So please, join us for a walk down unbe-f**king-lievable memory lane, as we bring you the The Top 10 Sitcom Cameos Made By Other Sitcom Characters. Beginning with #10:
10. “Urkel Visits Full House†Get this: Steve Urkel plays cousin to one of DJ’s school pals. What are the odds? Well, that’s the kind of question only a small black child genius could answer, because our minds our busy pouring out of our earholes from WTF-ness. Uncle Jesse teaching Steve Urkel HOW TO WALK? Urkel dealing Uncle Danny love advice? And asking for cheese? There’s a TI-85 graph of my head exploding somewhere right now.
REASON TO WATCH: Check this clip out if only to realize that Jaleel White may have been the most talented child actor ever see John Stamos’ jean-peen.
Susan Boyle: Singer. Internet Sensation. Possible Virgin. Model?
Well if this photo of the woman working the sidewalk in her hometown of Blackburn, Scotland has anything to do with it… maybe:
On the bright side, if the modeling thing doesn’t work out, she always has a future as a Helena Bonham Carter impersonator.
Sometimes, you get so used to seeing a celebrity in photographs that you almost forget what that person sounds and acts like. In the case of Lindsay Lohan, this is a good thing. For yesterday, all 94 pounds of Lindsay made an appearance on The Ellen Degeneres Show in order to clear up some rumors. Like that she’s anorexic; a coke addict; obsessed with ex-girlfriend Sam Ronson; mentally ill; unstable; gargles with hydrochloric acid; is 46… You know the ones.
Unfortunately for Linds, doesn’t look like she’ll be clearing up those rumors anytime soon:
You know, going back and watching her in an interview as a little girl, you almost see the seeds of insanity being planted. Crazy people were little once too.
Above, Intern Erin Winterbottom takes a stab at Blingeedom.
Today, news has broken that VH1 — my Mommy and Daddy company — is bringing back one of the highlights of our lives, the VH1 Divas series. The latest version of VH1 Divas will air live from the Brooklyn Academy of Music’s Howard Gilman Opera House, on September 17 — meaning I’ve got nearly 5 months to hand-bedazzle my best corset gown. Til that happens, let us partake in the digital bedazzling of some of the past VH1 Divas, including, but not limited to (Ace Ventura Soccer-Style-Kicker Deep Breath):
Celine Dion, Gloria Estefan, Aretha Franklin, Mariah Carey, Shania Twain, Tina Turner, Elton John (mmhmm), Cher, LeAnn Rimes, Brandy, Faith Hill, Whitney Houston, Mary J. Blige, Chaka Khan, Donna Summer, Destiny’s Child, RuPaul, Diana Ross, The Backstreet Boys, Nelly Furtado, Stevie Wonder, Cyndi Lauper, Dixie Chicks, Shakira, Stevie Nicks, Beyoncé, Lisa Marie Presley, Pat Benatar, Patti LaBelle, and Gladys Knight.
So, to celebrate what will surely be a momentous evening of dress tape (please, Aretha, for the love of God), today’s Blingee Wednesday is dedicated to the Divas. We ask that you limit yourselves to photos taken directly from past VH1 Diva concerts (however, will make exceptions for particularly genius Blingees found independently.) The rules: Ahead, we’ve posted a bunch of photos from past VH1 Diva Shows. Pick your favorite, head over to Blingee.com, MAKE IT FABULOUS, and the post a link to your creation in the comments. On Friday, we’ll post our faves.
Click ahead for the pics!
Our favorite source for all things news, In Touch Magazine, has revealed that before Gwen Stefani became his wife, rocker Gavin Rossdale shared feelings for yet another beautiful woman, pictured above. Indeed, that’s Gavin, rocking an original costume from Legend, and his former flame Marilyn, the luscious British pop star of the 80s.
You know, we can see what Gavin saw in Marilyn: The curvy body, the long blonde hair, the sensuous lips, the giant dong–
(pause)(blink, blink)
The Giant Dong.
Nowwwwwwwwwww we understand why Gavin’s denying the romance. He used to date a man who looks exactly like his wife. You know what? F*ck it, they still make a beautiful couple. Gavs, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Marilyn is gorgeous. Be honest, fellas, 2 tequilas and you’d be drunk dialing this bish on any given 2 am weeknight.
