Posts By Michelle COLLINS

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…OF THE DAY

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  • TWEET MARKET: Miley Cyrus has come out in support of Gay Marriage through a series of “tweets” between her and Perez Hilton. Because in her mind, once the gays can get married, father/daughter marriages can’t be too far off. (ONTD)
  • BIG MOTHER: Big Brother host Julie Chen is expecting her first baby with CBS CEO Les Moonves. Expect to see the infant in a crawl-on role on Two and a Half Men in a few months. (CBS)
  • RUMOR MILL: Can’t keep all the Brangelina rumors straight? Allow this handy guide to answer your questions! Wait — they’re living on Long Island right now? LOL x infinity. (People)
  • A LITTLE TOO PERSONAL AD: Move over, Trenita! Levi Johnston is the latest of fake celebrities to sign up for eHarmony. And, wouldn’t you know it, he wants to put his seed in Lindsay Lohan of all people. (The Full Ginsberg)
  • FINALLY: Abe Vigoda Blogs? Maybe… maybe. (Urlesque)

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And Now, For Another Round Of: WHAT THE F*CK AM I LOOKING AT?

In today’s round of BWE’s most favoritest game, “What the F*ck Am I Looking At?”, we bring you one of a series of photographs of what appears to be a tiny robot with abs being abused by a much larger, scarier woman:

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Want to know what the f*ck you’re looking at? Great! Click ahead for many, many more pictures that you will see in your eyelids before falling asleep tonight:

Read more…

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TRENITA: The Best Person in the World Is Looking for a Date

Our thanks go out to Buzzfeed/Urlesque‘s Eliot Glazer, who first introduced us to our favorite person who has ever existed on the internet: Trenita. Trenita appeared on the Dating on Demand channel in an effort to find the love of her life — and her requirements are simple: You can’t be laid back, you must love freebies, and let’s just say anything Nine Inch Nails related will cause you to OD on armfuls of Trenita in the morning iffff you get what we’re saying. (Ed. Note: She’ll sleep with you.)

Trenita is a rare specimen: Someone who is totally herself, completely un-self-conscience, fun as hell, and, frankly, adorable. WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE DATE HER AND THEN TELL US HOW IT WENT??? Because if spending 2 minutes with her in the following video is this enjoyable, imagine spending the whole night.

How amazing is she?

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Even Kelly Bensimon’s Own Breasts Hate Her

Say what you will about The Real Housewives of New York: Bethenny‘s funny and skinny; Ramona might be a lithium addict; the Countess Luanne sh*ts diamonds; and Jill loves fabric (even though her house is a Liberace nightmare). But for all of their faults, perhaps no Housewife is more hated, more reviled, than Kelly Kiloren Bensimon, former model and current divorcee, who picked a fight with Bethenny, one of the only redeeming people on the entire series.

The good news? Looks like her own siliconbags are looking to fly the coop:

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As Ben at B-Side Blog put it: “This picture really brings new meaning to Kelly’s signature put-down ‘I’m up here, and you’re down here.’ (I could not improve upon perfection in this case.)

Ahead, Kelly proves that the Devil was born nipple-free:

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SUSAN BOYLE PALETTE CLEANSER: Meet Shaheen Jafargholi

Last week, when word broke that a fat British middle-aged version with the voice of an angel had sung Les Miserables on Britain’s Got Talent, my inbox flooded with Youtube links and Facebook wall postings, with friends assuring me that I would “love her.” Her, in this case, was Susan Boyle, who, thanks to the unstoppable media machine, is now a household name in even the smallest of Panamanian huts. Boyle used her own outwardly appearance to defy expectation, and proudly announced that she would never change for nobody. This is all well and good for Susan Boyle, but bad news for me, who from the get go couldn’t buy into her story. She was great the first time I saw it. By the time my Great-Grandmother emailed it to me from the grave, I was over it.

This is not the case with the latest viral video star born from Simon Cowell’s womb, 12 year old singer Shaheen Jafargholi. I could watch Shaheen and his adorable little doll face belt out Michael Jackson all the live long day. In fact, if we’re really going to be honest with each other… I even got a little teary eyed. So you can keep your Susan Boyle, world, because I’ve got a much more adorable virgin to get worked up about… and dare I say, more talented:

Word of advice — he should just go ahead and change his name to “Shaheen”. It’s an elegant and apropos stage name.

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Wax Snoop Dogg Exactly as High as the Real Thing

Yesterday, on 4/20 as it were, Madame Touusaud’s Las Vegas revealed their latest waxy creation: A nearly identical facsimile of Cordozar Calvin Broadus, Jr., better known to most people as the marijuana-loving rapper by the name of Snoop Dogg (or, as we like to call him, “Cord-Brodes”). And we have to hand it to the brilliant artists there, because Wax Snoop Dogg is roughly exactly as high as the man himself. So much so… that we actually can’t tell the difference between the two of them:

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In fact, Wax Snoop Dogg is so close to the real thing, that even Snoop doesn’t realize he’s not alive, as evidenced by the following photo of Snoop trying to dance with his own likeness:

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…OF THE DAY

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  • WOMAN WITHOUT A FACE: Brooke Shields is set to star in a horror movie based on her own quote. (Us Magazine)
  • STAR WHORES: What does a British woman with zero name recognition wear to the premiere of Star Trek? Why, the paper casing found around a Lean Pocket of course! (The Daily Mail)
  • BRITAIN’S GOT BOYFRIEND: Susan Boyle, the self-professed 47 year old virgin and current Youtube celebrity with the voice of an angel, has a man in her life! And by the looks of his face in that doorway, he has definitely taken her virginity. (The Sun)
  • SAFE LANDING: Lady Gaga was spotted attending a Designing Women convention and looking fabulous, as usual, with a suit purchased at Lord & Meshach Taylor (nailed it). (Gawker)
  • BEST $5 YOU CAN SPEND: And speaking of Designing Women, will somebody please buy me this fan-created Designing Women fanzine on Ebay before Annie Potts gets to it first? Appreciated. (Urlesque)
  • CUE FRIENDS THEME SONG: I had the pleasure of seeing Mad TV‘s Arden Myrin perform at NY’s UCB theater on Saturday night, where she literally put on a comedy facemask and stole the show. And would you believe, we were on The Mike and Juliet Show this morning… together! Check out Arden’s new blog to see the two of us in our TV makeup best (me deploying my killer crazy eyes saved exclusively for other people’s digicams), and check back for daily updates. (Arden Myrin)

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OPEN THREAD: If Hating a Deaf Kid Is Wrong, I Don’t Wanna Be Right

The 14th season of The Amazing Race is dwindling down to the final remaining teams, and as tensions grow, so do the assy tendencies of Luke, the show’s first deaf contestant and seventeenth intolerable one. Throughout the season, Luke has been less than sportsmanlike (U-turning a team when not necessary, smack talking other teams, just being generally hyper-competitive), causing nice-guy contestant Mike White to label him “The Sinister Deaf Kid.”

Sinister is a nice way of putting it. On last night’s episode, Margie and Luke got into a heated argument with sister team Keisha and Jen after Luke body-checked Jen by a clue box, throwing a decidedly flamboyant elbow into the poor girl’s face. Jen, in response, called him a “bitch.” Worse words have clearly been said about Luke; frankly, “Bitch” was putting it nicely. But before you can sign “You are team number… 1″ with your hypnotically expressive eyebrows, Luke attacks Jen yet again by another clue box! This time pushing her directly into the box itself. And then… the the following pit stop argument took place. Infuriating is putting it lightly:

Ahead, my take on the situation…

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Wear Your Tea Cozy to Work Day > Do Anything Else at Work Day

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Oh, British People. Even their “Make Things Fun at Work” Day themes are quaint!! Take the following series of photographs, which depict a group of people wearing tea cozies on their head in order to raise money for Elizabeth Finn Care’s ‘Big Tea Cosy’ fundraising event, which encourages people to come together over a “cuppa” to raise funds and help those living in poverty in the UK.

Now, while we’re not quite sure what the correlation is between putting a teapot cover on your head and raising money for poor folks is, you kinda look at these people smiling away and think “Why ask why?” JFC, look how happy this guy is!:

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10 Celebrities Who Share a Birthday with Hitler

Some people celebrate today, April 20, by lighting up a joint and calling it a life, as it’s also “4/20″. But today also marks the date that the closest thing history has ever had to the Devil himself — Adolf Hitler — was born, back in 1889. But do you have any idea how many beloved celebrities have to share their birth date with one of the most vile, evil figures of humankind? Even you — yes, you – will be surprised. Here are 10 Celebrities Who Share a Birthday with Hitler:

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10. Joey Lawrence, 1976 Whoa! Who knew Joey LoLo was born on Hitler’s Birthday? You know who knew? Joey Lawrence, that’s who. And most definitely Mayim Bialik, whose Hebrew name means “Water Bagel” in English.

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9. George Takei, 1937 George Takei is the essence of all things joyous. You know who isn’t? HILTER (The way my middle school history teacher used to spell it so as not to honor him with his correct name. Needless to say, this was in a public school.)

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