Posts By Michelle COLLINS

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Tom Selleck With Mustache Eyebrows: Slightly Arousing

The FW has sort of stated the internet obvious with the following brilliant list: 16 Celebrities With Mustache Eyebrows. Some of them don’t really “do it” for me. Rihanna with a mustache is basically Prince, and John Waters looks exactly the same.

But Tom Selleck. Dammmmn. Those tiny lil eyebrow staches are legit sweeping me off my feet. I honestly don’t know if I’m woman enough for all that man, but I’m willing to find out for you America.

The only man — ONLY MAN — who could rock a stachebrow better than Tom Selleck, well, you might already know who I’m talking about, but click ahead to find the answer.

Read more…

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Leonardo Dicaprio Has Gone Full Fat Albert

Hot on the heels of tearing a couple dozen Titanic 3D posters in a drug-fueled rage (in my head), Leonardo Dicaprio was spotted going undercover as “that dude from 98 Degrees I think?” Here he is leaving lunch with his Mom in Miami, and not, as his beard would have you believe, Gettysburg.

Just remember when him and his blue lips lets go of Rose’s hand all up in your face at the end of Titanic 3D, eventually he comes back to life as a D*ck in a Box.

[Photo: Splash]

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Dog Relives Happiest Childhood Times On Slide

In yet another example of dogs evolving into small, fur-laden toddlers, comes video of a golden retriever who has mastered to art of slides. This little son of a bitch knows the drill: Climb the steps, position yourself proudly at the top, and let gravity do all the work. What’s amazing about this dog is that a. His name is Tom, which is very formal for a dog and completely fitting; and b. If he were human, he’d be Rob Lowe. Meaning, he’s kind of handsome like a man? I’m not saying I want to spoon this dog, but I am saying I’d like to sail down side-by-side slides with him, paw-in-hand, over the edge of a Canyon like Thelma and Louise. (Please note the above photo is not the dog I’m talking about. I have much better taste than that camman.)

(Photo via Cute Overload, vid via Buzzfeed)

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YEAH BOYYYY: Grand Opening Of Flava Flav’s Fried Chicken Restaurant Does Not Disappoint

GUESS WHAT TIME IT IS?

TOT O’CLOCK

That’s right: VH1 star Flavor Flav has finally turned the corner from Human Cajun Chicken Finger into bona fried chicken restauranteur. Called “Flavor Flav’s House Of Flavor” (genius), the grand opening in Las Vegas spared absolutely no expense:

That’s a BIC® Hilighter pal.

Flav even pitched in to help!

“Yo, who threw my iPhone in here?”

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George Clooney Becomes Prison’s Most Eligible Rapechelor #FreeClooney

In America’s first ever case of reverse racial profiling, George Clooney has been arrested while protesting Sudan’s blockage of food and aid to its people outside of the Sudanese embassy in Washington D.C. And whoo chillle, if I was a man in prison right now, I’d be pulling a Savion Glover all over my jail furniture in anticipation of laying eyes on the Cloonster.

Yes, there he stood, wearing his manly beard and dad jeans, ever the stoic half-face Time Magazine cover, not once looking scared of jail. Which is perhaps the wrong reaction. Because I’m guessing he’s going to walk out of those barbed-wire gates looking like this:

i.e. STILL AMAZING.

Ahead, many many more photos of Clooney looking ever the corrupt politician.

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GUESS THE FAMILY FEUD QUESTION: Get Dong Done Edition

This was the final board on a recent episode of Family Feud, featuring my new favorite phrase, “Get Dong Done.” Now, it’s up to you to guess what question was asked to the American public that could have POSSIBLY resulted in 4 people pausing to think, and then saying “GET DONG DONE” to whatever intern was responsible for making the calls.

Also it’s safe to say that after reading this answer out loud, Steve Harvey walked around the stage looking up at the sky for a good 20 minutes, stuck his foot out, put his hand on his hip, shook his head for another 10 minutes, looked back up again, walked outside, walked around the block a few times, got in a cab, went to the airport, flew to Texas, got off the plane and shook his head again, got the hem on his suit jacket let out a few feet, walked around the plane, had a coffee, flew back, and then went to commercial break.

So, can you guess what it is? We’ll reveal the answer later on in the day depending on how many people comment/care, before spending the rest of my weekend getting dong done.

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The 11 Most Lucrative Baby Jobs

Eric Maloberti is at once a father and a genius. While most dads would just let their 3-month-old baby girls do what they do best — lay there, stare, roll, sh*t — Eric figured “why let useless sleeping babies lay?” and put his daughter June to good use. As a tiny little model for possibly future baby jobs. Because really, why should a baby just LAY THERE when it could be working? And not just at any job… but as a Baby Pope.

Here Are The 11 Most Lucrative Baby Jobs. (Including one tiny baby black eye!)

11. Baby Mexican Wrestler

10. Baby Surfer

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Gerard Depardieu Impersonates Stewardess Who Watched Him Urinate On A Plane

Way back when in August of 2011, the life of one transcontinental plane was changed forever. That’s because on that fateful August 16, Frenchest actor Gerard Depardieu stood up, stumbled out of his first class seat, and peed in the aisle of the plane with the gusto of a million Napolean hats. (Frenchest thing I could think of, it’s early.)

And we all wondered: What was going through G-D-P-D’s head that day, other than a stream of urine powered by the force of a thousand circus elephants?

Well today, ladies and gentlemen, some insight. Gerard Depardieu appeared on my favorite talk show ever, The Graham Norton Show, to discuss the details of the incident in his “Crème Brûlée English” (because he’s French and it’s broken.) Despite the language barrier, Gerard uses his toothless charm to absolutely dazzle the audience with tales of his drunk ass pissing himself in public and delaying his flight by 2 hours. YOU CAN’T HATE THE GUY! Even though he is the spitting image of the Confederacy of Dunces book cover. Enjoy.

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Let Us All Take A Journey Into “Eden’s World,” Eden Wood’s New Amazing Reality Show

Eden Wood is a bona fide tiny star. No one on Toddlers & Tiaras, not even our beloved Alana Honey Boo Boo Child, has had the last effects that Eden Wood has had on society. Like a pint-sized pre-Howard-K-Stern Anna Nicole Smith, she’s a little beauty with enough personality of a 40-year-old to spare. And now, I am proud to announce that VH1 sister network Logo has finally done what should have been done moon’s ago: Given Eden Wood her very own reality show.

Called Eden’s World, the show follows Eden and her mom on the journey to… wait, what’s the journey here? Hollywood? I think it’s Hollywood, as Eden retired from pageants at age 6. But wait… it sure looks like they’re at pageants. Well maybe she’s like Cher. “Retired.” Also loving the token gay on the show. You can believe I’ll be watching, and GOD ARE YOU LISTENING making a cameo. Love, Mash.

The show begins on April 16th at 10 PM on Logo. Check out NewNowNext for more information!!