What are you doing tonight at 10 pm? If you had any sense, you’d be curled up on your couch with a diamond studded pashmina at your feet, watching the third installment of Project Runway. Props to reader stilettoxmafia who dropped a thorough and fun Project Runway Drinking Game! We’ve tacked on some extra things to watch/sip out for tonight.
- One for Time Gunn saying either “make it work” or “carry on.”
- One for a product placement references. Example, “Send your models to the Tresemee hair salor and use the Macy’s accessory wall.”
Arbitor of Truth Â© US Magazine reports that Tori Spelling will only be receiving .16 percent of her father’s multi-million dollar fortune, as a result of a falling out with mother Candy Spelling. Estimations report that Spelling will only reap a measly $800,000 out of the death-pact, which as any ex-alum of 90210 knows, is barely enough to pay the help (read: Brian Austin-Green). It’s gonna be a tough life for Tori Spelling, but we believe that with enough miserly know-how and financial smarts, she can still live a pretty good life. Here are a few tips to help Tori save/earn some cash:
1. Melt down your 24K gold toilet and sell it for cash. Then, crap into Ziplock bags.
2. Remove your breast implants and use the saline as contact lens solution.
Is that a little baby bulge we see, Tom Hanks? We’re thinking it is, judging by how proudly you seem to be showcasing your bulge at the Ant Bully premiere. We think other Hollywood A-list actors should take your cue and be proud of their bulges — it’s one of the most beautiful things Mother Nature has to offer us! And we like nothing more than an A-list bulge swathed in stone-washed denim. Keep it up, Tom!
Every day, magazines and blogs wax ho-etic about celebrity break-ups. Who’s together, who’s apart, who’s cheating, who’s so coked out of their brains they don’t even know what year it is. Here are today’s top 3 celebrity break-up rumors:
1. Jennifer Aniston Dumps Vince Vaughn. Likelihood? Nil. Aniston needs a big hunk-o-man to cry on, and Vaughn fits the bill perfectly. While the chemistry between these two is highly questionable, comedically and romantically, we’re convinced that another break-up in the public eye would drive normally nicotine-addled Aniston to murderously-sadistic levels of madness.
While Justin Timberlake‘s video for Sexyback premiered on TRL today (and will be on MTV again tonight at 11 p.m.), the empty cavity I’m feeling in the pit of my soul tells me that my Justin fix has still not been satisfied. That’s when I discovered this video of Tiny Timb taken in 1991, when my darling was only 10 years old. Check out his little pants and tie combo! Ayyy pobrecito!
Well, look whoâ€™s too good to appear as Captain Hook on stage: David Hasselhoff! The vazline-chested hunk of yesteryear wonâ€™t be able to appear due to some TV conflicts (word has it he’s trying to get his own show, Travels With The Hoff. . . we’re not kidding!) So producers decided to cast the only C-list actor with the moxy and know-how to fill Hasselhoffs canoe-shoes: Henry Winkler, aka â€œThe Fonzâ€. And at first, we were pretty jazzed!
Then we wondered: What must it be like to be Henry Winkler? What goes through the guyâ€™s head, when you’re brought in as Hasselhoff’s replacement? So, using a team of underpaid analysts, we compiled a timeline of a typical day in the life of an American Hero…
A Day In The Life Of The Fonz
Thereâ€™s always an air of fakery around an article that refers to a mysterious â€œpanel of expertsâ€, but there it is. Said “panel” compiled a list of â€œ50 Films to See Before You Dieâ€ for the British digital channel Film 4. The list is after the jump, but there are some very immediate problems with it. For example: #27 is the movie Hero, yet they do not specify whether it is the Tom Cruise Pretends He’s Asian Hero or the Dustin Hoffman Makes A Bad Career Choice Hero. Hereâ€™s hoping itâ€™s the latter. Also, Royal Tenenbaums over Rushmore? Unlikely. And hey â€“ not a single John Landis movie on the list?! Come onâ€¦ Coming to America is one of the finest movies of our time. Also missing: Total Recall, Dumb and Dumber, and possibly the best movie ever, Speed.
Click to read the full list — what other movies did they leave out?
Check out this picture taken of Keira Knightley in London a few days ago. We’re not sure if Keira was a feral child, raised by topless, chunky-belted wolves in an alley somewhere, but someone should really get the memo to her that a skirt belted around the human xylophone that is her rib cage does NOT constitute a dress. Maybe it’s just a clever ruse to divert attention from the “Knightley Jaw.” And check out her boyf! Attractive, in a Matthew Mcconaughey as a vampire kind of way — which, on second thought, is exactly our type.
Crush-of-the-Day Daniel Henney, the Zoolander of Asia, takes on Gwyneth Paltrow in a 2005 commercial for the appropriately named Bean Pole International clothing line. The two were back in London this week filming another commercial, but in case you missed the first one, here it is. It’s too bad Chris Martin is in the picture — these two would birth a litter of Benetton models if given the chance.