The Blogging Project Runway blog received a personalized note from accused Project Runway cheater Keith Michael yesterday, in which Michael denies allegations of copying his application portfolio from major designer labels. In the poorly punctuated memo (presumably written on a bedsheet, Marquis de Sade style) Keith says, “the panel of judges that reviewed my work had many years of experience behind them. i found them neither ignorant, uninformed or in any way confused about their own profession.” Well, gee, thanks so much, GOD, for reassuring us (albeit sarcastically) that these extremely qualified, successful fashion folks aren’t “confused” about their life’s work. If there’s one way I would never think to describe Michael Kors, it would be “confused.” Personally, I would choose to describe him as a Mystic Tanned Cowardly Lion… but one firm in his beliefs.
One thing is certain: We cannot wait to see TV’s sexiest professor Tim Gunn fire a couple of rounds into this guy — sexual pun intended. Make it work!
Think back to a few years ago, when Adrien Brody was Hollywood’s “It Boy”. With his Oscar in hand, and Halle’s saliva in his piehole, the guy was on top of the world. A little while later, some of you may have seen a thin layer of glitter covering the ground, remnants of Brody’s star falling. But nothing — nothing — could prepare us for the item in today’s Page Six: Brody was seen “snuggling” with Ukranian ice skater/drunk driver Oksana Baiul at a pre-ESPY party in LA. While Brody is denying the claim (and you know Oksan-san is throwing a mail-order-bride fit in some random hotel room right now), just the idea of it is still quite scarring.
Then it occurred to us: Has Adrien Brody’s career really taken a turn this far south? Wethinks yes. And in order to prove out point, we’ve created a painfully accurate, highly mathematical graph, which we’ve called “Adrien Brody’s Fame-O-Meter”, to prove our point. To wit:
CLICK ON THE PICTURE TO ENLARGE!
Is it too late for Brody to climb back to the top? Will his upcoming movie with Ben Affleck, Hollywoodland, allow him to reclaim his status as a leading man? You decide!
Tom Cruise demonstrates how to make imaginary, fake, alien-babies with Steven Spielberg.
Your turn. Leave your Captions in the Comments now!
We-he-hell. Look who’s crawlin’ back to the masses: Jennifer Aniston! We remember back to last year when the newly divorced Aniston refused to get together for a Friends reunion, citing that she wished to “distance” herself from her character, Rachel Green. For weeks, America fell to its knees, begging with a deafening insistence “Jen! Please! Come back to us! We need ya!” But she left us cold, dreaming of simpler days, days of easily-copied haircuts and wading through city fountains with our best buds.
But now, Aniston is whistling a different tune. All of a sudden, she thinks it would be “fun” to do a Friends reunion. Fun! She speculates that she might enjoy a Thanksgiving reunion. Hey, Jen, do you think we’d forget? Forget how callously you left us hanging? Why don’t you explain to the hole in my heart where you’ve been for the past two years, eh, Jennifer? How dare you toy with the hearts and souls of the American people like that? Didn’t you hear? There’s a war going on. Yeah – a war. This is no time to drop rumors that maybe you might be interested in a Friends Reunion special.
Oh God. What have we done? Jenny, baby, doll, we’re kidding! We need you. The world needs you! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be rocking myself back and forth in the corner of my bedroom crying with Matt LeBlanc.
Fans of Strangers With Candy might wonder where wacky genius Amy Sedaris came up with the ex-prostitute, ex-druggy character that is Jerri Blank. Those of you assuming Jerri was born out of sheer creative brilliance might be a little surprised to see real-life ex-prosty/druggy Florrie Fisher. In the following vintage clip, Florrie lectures high school students on the dangers of LSD, including the time she was flung off a horse and needed an emergency laminectomy, and the startling tale of a “straight-B” student nearly plunging to her death. It must be seen multiple times to be believed.
The fine folks over at the AV Club give us a glimpse into the hard knock life of Marcello Mastroianni in their mash-up trailer for 8 1/2 Mile. Frankly, you could put Eminem‘s “Lose Yourself” over live footage of flies banging and we’d still be motivated for an intense Reebok Slide class, but still… this is pretty hilare.
Fans of Project Runway and bitchy gay guys, brace yourselves: Season 3 contestant Keith Michael, he of the face like a bird (fine, a cute bird), may have cheated on his Project Runway application. A sharp eye over at Television Without Pity notes the similarities between many of Keith’s portfolio designs compared with those of some major designers, such as Lacoste and Marni. Keith, who fulfills my longtime fantasy of Jude Law and Greg Kinnear making delicious manlove and then producing a skinny, elf-like child, won last week’s challenge with a pretty halter dress stitched out of some blue bedsheets. But according to last week’s previews, we know something major goes down on Wednesday night’s episode, as Tim Gunn‘s brows appear to knit a 13-ply cashmere cardi. (i.e. He looks pissed.) Look at these pics, then decide:
Left: Keith, Right: Giambattista Valli Spring 2006
Left: Keith, Right:Lacoste Spring 2006
Left: Keith, Right: Marni Spring 2006
And you thought Alien Basket Hats would be the highlight of the season! So whaddya think: Will Keith be “Auf’d” from this week’s episode?
Before Superman Returns was released a few weeks ago, star Brandon Routh was a bit of a mystery, known to most people only by his eyebrows and ginormous, unforgiving bulge. But the more we read and see about the guy, the more it becomes clear… that Brandon Routh is a Class One, Grade A, Top of the Line Super-Sissy.
Routh threw a fit at a London press conference on Wednesday when he complained that his makeup made him look “wimpy“, and that co-star Kate “The Breastplate” Bosworth looked more “sun-kissed and natural” (Ed. Note: Kate Bosworth is a woman.) Normally, we would be happy to put down any man complaining of not looking “sun-kissed” enough, but in Routh’s case, we’re going to give him a break. Why? Because he looks like a re-animated wax museum version of a real person, that’s why. And frankly, if a little bronzer is gonna inject even an ounce of personality into the guy, then by all means, turn his pretty little mug into a baby shoe for all we care.
We’re not really sure what is happening in the following clip of Elisabeth Hasselbeck on The View this morning… but we’re kind of OB-GYN-sessed with it.
God bless the fine people over at the Oxygen Network. They’re giving Shannen Doherty a 17th chance at fame with a new show entitled “Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty.” The show will consist of Doherty giving advice on breaking things off with your lover, friend or the entire cast of your hit 90′s television show. And if there’s anyone stable enough to dole out solid, concrete relationship advice, it’s a twice married, drunk-driving, Playboy-posing former child star notorious for her abusive streak.
We here at BWE have gotten our hands on a list of “Shannen Doherty’s Top 8 Ways of Breaking Up with Somebody“, and, to our surprise, she offers up some really promising constructive advice. Take a look…