Posts By Michelle COLLINS

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Kirk Cameron Sings And Dances! Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That.

Back in 1988, Kirk Cameron wasn’t the sad birthday party having, anti-gay son of a bitch he is today. Nope, back then he was Mike Seaver! Bona fide star of hit television series Growing Pains! Not some washed up dude peeling bananas on a viral youtube video about creation! Good times.

Anyway, having nothing at all to do with his stance on gays and the rumors that surround Kirk himself, here is video of Kirk Cameron and Marie Osmond singing and dancing on a Bob Hope Special. The guy is a natural! Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

(via Queerty)

BY THE WAY: Here are the Google suggestions for “Kirk Cameron Is…”

How the mighty have fallen…

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WOMEN: We All Want To Be This Celebrity Frankenstein

Australian’s Marie Claire has made one of those “Perfect Celebrity Frankensteins” again, where different facial features of various beautiful women are hastily pasted together in Photoshop to create one “perfect woman.” And my, what a woman she is. Pretty, but you wouldn’t really trust her to cat sit, would you? Come home early from vacation and BAM: That cat’s wearing really small Swiffers on her feet while your “friend” is webcamming it for some online OCD community.

To put it more clearly, let’s turn to this ONTD commenter (yes, I’m quoting a livejournal user) theratwhispers, who said it best: “The end result looks like Taylor Swift, if she had a crazy twin sister that lived in the attic.” And yes, there is something kind of Swifty about this thing, isn’t there? Not just there hair. Perhaps that Hathaway gaze belies some sort of Swiftian bewilderment that we’ve all come to know and love.

Meanwhile, in a completely unrelated story, please kill this thing with fire and may it never walk this Earth.

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Today’s Strongest Kids Are Tomorrow’s Jersey Shore Stars

Here are two little boys in Russia who can probably already kick the crap out of you. Yes, these are the World’s Strongest Kids! How strong are they? Well he’s no Richard Sandrak, who I thought was the World’s Strongest Boy and certainly has 14,000 more abs than these two, but still, they’re pretty strong. I mean, they do something called a Human Flag, which entails doing 90 degree pull-ups.

The Human Flag.

I definitely hate it. Anyway, strong kids, take it away!! WITH YOUR GIANT ARMS.

If Russia has a show called the Baltic Shore, and it stars kids, well good news for these 2.

(via Huffpo)

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This Corgi Has Got An Amazing Rack

Weirdly, the most disturbing part of the photo (for me, at least) are the pigtails. A corgi with pigtails? Unholy. A corgi with pigtails shaped like weird Cape Cod arms? Burn it down.

And now, a question for cute dog owners: I saw someone walking a corgi while on a walk this weekend and stopped, dropped and rolled my way over to it while the owner stood looking on listening to his iPod. I wonder what it must be like for the world’s lucky corgi owners to have girls like me who love pets but who love clean furniture more to basically attack you when you’re out for a stroll. Do you guys hate it? I think I would maybe depending solely on the buoyancy of my bangs. (Where the more buoyant they appear, the more buoyant I appear.) I guess my question is: How exhausting and I to you when you are with your dog? Genuinely curious and thank you.

[via Obsessive Corgi Disorder]

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Jessica Simpson Still Pregnant; Now Naked

Jessica Simpson has been pregnant for a record 21 months, just shy of the record set by Mariah Carey a few years back. She is celebrating this record-breaking womb overthrow the way all pregnant women should: By posing nude on a national magazine cover. Judging by the pic, i would not be surprised if she gives birth to a Photoshop liquify tool, but what do I know??

Love,
Dr. Cliff Huxtable

(via ONTD)

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10 Masterpieces Reimagined With A Fat Orange Cat

10.

Artist Svetlana Petrova will from now on be known around my household as “My Favorite Artist.” That’s because Svetlana, of “Svet” because I feel like we’re friends, takes world-famous art masterpieces and inserts her gigantic orange cat Zarathustra in them. And dare we say this cat was born for the bigtime. Da Vinci, Botticelli, Dali, Monet… these artists are rolling over with delight! And possibly a belly scratching. (Dali especially.)

Svet posts her catsterpieces (sorry!) over at FatCatArt, let me just check…. yes, the greatest website on the internet. Now y’all know how much I love a fat orange cat (my parents own one!), but dare I saw that Zarathustra might be the best fat orange cat out there. My sincerest apologies to Bill Murray’s Garfield.

Here are 10 Masterpieces Reimagined With A Fat Orange Cat. I think of them as MasterMasterPieces now.

9.

8-1 Ahead.

Read more…

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FELLAS: Are You Man Enough For Mantyhose?

First there were Manx. Then there were Manties. Now prepare yourself for the latest incarnation of women-inspired menswear: Mantyhose or Brosery. Yes, it’s pantyhose for your mannnn.

Italian design Emilio Cavallini is giving men who come home early to prance around the house in their wife’s L’eggs a chance to combine their rugged masculinity with flattering control tops a new hope for the future. According to The Daily Mail, some of the rejected names for mantyhose include “guylons, he-tards, and beau-hose,” all pretty much horrendous.

But guys, admit it… even the jockiest among you are curious as to what you’d look like in a pair of bro-hose.

Perhaps no one more than this guy…

ZARF

Best last sentence of any scene ever. OK fellas: Who is man enough for Scrights! (My name for scrotal tights.)

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OH TO DREAM: 7 Minutes In Heaven With Paul Rudd

My attempt at “Munning.”

Paul Rudd. Like the Wooly Mammoth of men. Had he not existed, never would we think that such a man could ever exist. Adorable, charming, funny, self-effacing (“And Jewish?” — My mother, panting) he is Paul Rudd, and no one else is. Only Rudd could pull off the difficult role of playing basically Alicia Silverstone’s half-brother in Clueless only to end up her boyfriend at the end of the movie and have NO ONE question the incestuous undertones.

Also how old is that movie? 17 years old? The guy still looks pretty f****cking amazing. And good news, because now video exists of 7 Minutes In Heaven with Paul Rudd. Now sadly, it is not you in this video, and more sadly, not me. No, it is instead SNL writer and 7 Minutes In Heaven star Mike O’Brien, who gets in both top and bottom lip.

I have become immune to so many internet things and still loved this, which means you will LOVE IT.

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Prince Harry Super Excited To Win Gold At The Fake Olympics

Prince Harry is in Jamaica, and while there, visited the Usain Bolt Track at the University of the West Indies. And even though 3-time Olympic gold medalist Usain Bolt was standing mere feet away, that didn’t stop Harry from competing against himself in a fake Olympic race and, of course, taking home the gold for England.

Of course, being a PRINCE, nobody had the heart to tell him that there was no race, he competed alone, and he ran a 9 minute mile. Nope, instead, he spent the next 20 minutes just pointing to the sky thanking God with Usain.

[Photo: Splash]