Posts By Lauren Olson (Deiman)

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Jonathan The Tortoise: Still A Sexy Beast At 176

While Jonathan the Tortoise may be one of the world’s oldest living animals, he has the sex drive of a much younger hard-shelled hunk. Though a photo from 1900 proves that Jonathan is now 176 years old, he shows no signs of slowing his lifestyle, even without sight in one eye. According to his keepers at his home on the island of St. Helena, Jonathan is fit as a fiddle and routinely gets busy with the three younger, female tortoises. Not only does he continue to enjoy the ladies, but he adores attention and is a real ham for the camera. In an age of Botox and Viagra, Jonathan is a 100% all-natural stud, and perhaps a source of inspiration for Hugh Hefner.

[Photo: Splash News Online, Source: Daily Mail]

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Box Office Beat: Crazy In-Laws Take The Cake

Audiences must really be in the holiday spirit, as Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn held the top spot at the movies for the second weekend in a row, beating sexy vampires, Australian cowboys and Bond. Four Christmases‘ success proves the often-told tale of family stress and a full schedule around the holidays doesn’t get old. See a clip above of Vaughn being outed by his rowdy brothers, revealing to Witherspoon his birth name is “Orlando.”

1. Four Christmases: $18.2M
2. Twilight: $13.2M
3. Bolt: $9.7M
4. Australia: $7M
5. Quantum of Solace: $6.6M

On the coattails of Beyonce‘s “Single Ladies” sensation, we were somewhat surprised to see Cadillac Records roll in at #9 with a meager $3.5M. Check out a clip of Ms. Knowles singing as Etta James after the jump.

Read more…

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How To Get In Marilyn Manson’s Leather Chaps

Photos surfaced today of Marilyn Manson with a new babe on his arm (far right photo). Dita 3.0′s got porcelain skin, raven hair, brightly stained lips, a teeny waist, and a Gothic sense of style. We’ve got to hand it to Marilyn. The guy knows what he likes. Forget “ass men” or “leg guys,” Marilyn’s standards have been refined over fifteen years to a very specific prototype. Rose McGowan, Dita Von Teese, Evan Rachel Wood, and Mystery Girl have generated a chicken-or-egg situation. What came first? Marilyn or the makeup?

Want a piece of the Goth God? Here are three simple (though potentially rib-damaging) steps to win his heart:

1. AVOID the sun.

2. Befriend a corset.

3. Dye your hair and sleep in curlers.

Take notes on the Femmes de Manson below:

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[Photos: Getty Images & Splash News Online]

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Happy Hump Day!

It’s Wednesday, and that means you’ve made it halfway through the work week and halfway to the weekend. Congrats!

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Box Office Beat: Bloodsuckers Defeat Bond

The teen heart-throbbing vamps conquered a delusional dog, Bond, and escaped zoo animals for the top spot at the box office over the weekend. See a clip from Twilight above when Kristen Stewart lets hunky Robert Pattinson know that the jig is up.

Twilight, $70.6M
Quantum of Solace, $27.4M
Bolt, $27M
Madagascar: Escape to Africa, $16M
Role Models, $7.23M

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Happy Friday!

Shane Mercado and Sasha Fierce can take a seat, because Cubby from Brotha Fred’s AM Mayhem has just taken the cake (and maybe stuffed it in his crotch?) for best YouTube performance of Beyonce‘s dance hit, “Single Ladies.” The weekend has almost arrived, so take a minute to watch Cubby in his leotard … and ponder what’s happening in his nether-regions.


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Happy Hump Day!

It’s Wednesday, and that means you’ve made it halfway through the work week and halfway to the weekend. Congrats!

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Dear Megan Fox, You Can Do Better

The GQ “Men of the Year” Party was last night at the Chateau Marmont, drawing the hotness of Hollywood to its red carpet. The hottest of the stars posing for the paps was GQ cover girl Megan Fox. She rarely brings her long-time boyfriend Brian Austin Green to red carpet events, and now we see why. Pouty-pants-McGee, who hasn’t had a memorable role since the original 90210, clearly does not appreciate the hotness in pink hanging on his arm! At 22 years old, Megan needs to explore other options, which are surely lined up around her block.

See photos of the couple looking unhappy below, as well as shots of Kim Kardashian, Zac Efron, and Olivia Wilde.

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