The new trailer for the new A Nightmare on Elm Street premiered today, and it’s got all the sexy, vaguely notable teen actors screaming and dropping their bathrobes that you’ve come to expect from remakes of 80’s horror flicks. This is the first feature film for “Smells Like Teen Spirit” video director Samuel Bayer, so you just know he nails the probable “everyone dies at the pep rally!” scene.
It was also good of Christian Bale to lend his Batman voice to German super spy Freddy Krueger (that’s what he is, right?). Be sure to check this one out in April, because it won’t be remade for at least sixteen more years:
A Nightmare on Elm Street Trailer 2 in HD
Trailer Park Movies | MySpace Video
While the real Susan Boyle‘s family is concerned over her well-being, the Japanese apparently have their own Susan Boyle ready to assume the office of Susan Boyle at a moment’s notice.
My Japanese is rusty, but I assume this is some kind of sketch on the Japanese Mad TV, which is both still on the air and widely known for its topical humor. Or maybe this is, in fact, real and the Japanese always insert strange, ominous cutaways during their TV talent competitions. Either way, journey down the rabbit hole with me:
Harrison Ford attended the premiere of his blockbuster Medidas Extraordinarias in Spain yesterday, and his legendary subtle range was on display for photographers. See the master at work as he demonstrates the Many Faces of Harrison Ford:
The creepy who guy just sent you a drink at the bar
The Kaeto Kalin
More after the jump.
InTouch Weekly has an exclusive interview with a woman claiming to have slept with happily married Lost star Matthew Fox. While Fox’s representatives deny the story, the stripper from Bend, Oregon (FUN FACT: Bend, Oregon is the birthplace of the American strip club) says the two have been together twice. That’s right, TWICE. He had to go back. He had to go back. According to the article:
Matthew, Stefani says, started by buying her a drink, then paid for four private dances, each worth $20. “He asked me, ‘Why are you working in a place like this?’ I told him that I am a single mom and needed the money,” Stefani says. “He absolutely did not mention a wife or family, and I don’t remember him wearing a wedding ring.”
Despite the club’s strict rules about dating customers, Stefani left her 5-year-old son with a babysitter and claims she met Matthew later that night at the house he was staying in with his entourage.
Whether this is true or not, people seem like they’re getting less and less shocked by these celebrity cheating scandals. In the last year or so we’ve seen it from John Edwards, David Letterman, and Tiger Woods. If beloved actor Tom Hanks or William H. Macy were spotted leaving a motel with an entire bus full of boozed-up Hooters waitresses, people would simply look at the headline and say, “It’s Wednesday already?” Or maybe not. Don’t cheat on your wife, America. Unless it’s part of a publicity stunt for Lost and you claim your flash-caddycorner self (Read Dan’s recap!) was the one sleeping with a stripper.
Another trailer for the Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan‘s new Karate Kid movie hit the web today. It features lots of new footage proving that it is NOTHING like the original 1984 movie. See, that one took place in California. This one is in China! Totally different. Look, they are on that big wall thing. Totally new movie here.
Also, Jaden is clear to point out that Jackie Chan is like Yoda, NOT Mr. Miyagi. Mr. Miyagi doesn’t exist in this time line.
The new catch phrase for this movie is really “Jacket on, jacket off”? I know “Wax on, wax off.” I’ve served with “Wax on, wax off.” You, sir, are no “Wax on, wax off.”
During an interview with MTV News, Jersey Shore‘s Jenny “J-Woww” Farley was asked if she regret any of the things she wore during the show’s first season. Her answer was baffling to me:
Sooo… what exactly does going to the doctor have to do with the dish towel-sized shirts she wore to the club? Perhaps she caught pneumonia due to too much skin exposure to the frosty Jersey air.
J-Woww, don’t start biting the hand that feeds you free shots. Those outfits were everything that made you entertaining by the end of the season. The constant thrill of potentially seeing a boob pop out is what kept most viewers interested in your storyline. Go with what works.
Aziz Ansari aka Raaaaaaaandy dropped the first track off his new mixtape with Dave Sitek and is understandably angry that no other rapper has sent him verses (hence the name “Aaaaaaaangry”). He pretty much calls out every MC but Tupac and B.I.G. Biggie has an excuse though. He’s dead. What about you, Tupac? I’m still not buying your story.
Check out the NSFW track below:
I personally would love to see Raaaaaaandy in an MC battle with Childish Gambino on a Community and Parks and Recreation crossover event. Let’s make that happen.
It was revealed that former Vice President Dick Cheney suffered his fifth heart attack on Monday, which is traditionally the diamond heart attack.
Charlie Sheen entered rehab as a “preventative measure.” Hopefully that just means preventing another season of Two and a Half Men.
Pictures were released from a sexy photo shoot for Interview Magazine with Jersey Shore‘s The Situation and model Bar Rafaeli, sparking rumors that this Jersey Shore thing may have run its course.
At age 65, Gary Busey is once again the father of a baby boy. Though, it might just be a watermelon wearing a ski hat that Busey calls a “baby.”
Shady government contractor Blackwater used the name “Eric Cartmen” to illegally obtain a stockpile of weapons. This is the most egregious wartime negligence since Colonel Bart Simpson stole those Apache Helicopters.
Kate Winslet says she keeps her Oscar in her bathroom so guests don’t ask about it. Still, more people have managed to see the statue than have actually seen The Reader.
Mary-Kate Olsen, Kate Hudson, Kristen Stewart, Claire Danes, and Mia Wasikowska attended a Burberry event at London Fashion Week today, and boy does it look like more fun than a Saturday afternoon visit to the puppy dog and fireworks factory:
Actually, Mary-Kate seems to be enjoying herself just fine. Perhaps everyone else’s misery is just what feeds her life force.
[photo via Getty Images]